1. ABC Milking Their Stars
Nothing says "American Music" like the stars of Suburgatory and Modern Family presenting awards and handing out trophies while they promote their series. If you had any inkling that ABC was absolutely tasteless in honoring musicians, watch Jenny McCarthy stand at the AMAs podium and talk about how awesome Ryan Seacrest's New Year's Rockin' Eve is going to be this year.

2. Kelly Clarkson vs. The Newsies
Maybe some can appreciate the cheesy goodness in old-timey newspaper boys telling viewers to "Read all out" Kelly Clarkson battling rumors and making a comeback, but all in all, it was overdone and entirely drawn-out. Are people's opinions as to why Clarkson isn't married really tearing the artist up inside? Give us a break.

3. JLo's Fiat Commercial
No joke: In the middle of Jennifer Lopez's "Dance With Your Papi" performance, she got into a Fiat, which then spun around in circles in front of an ultra-tacky image of Times Square on a jumbo screen. Oh, and guess what car ad played during commercials throughout the night?

4. Taylor Swift: Worst Actress in America
Swift's whole shtick is playing the sweetheart-damsel-in-distress, but her terrible acting during her Artist of the Year win was painful to watch. And don't get us started on how many times the cameras showed her and gal pal Selena Gomez dancing in their seats throughout the evening. Can someone please dethrone her, pronto?

5. LMFA-Oh God, Why?
All night, viewers were told that an epic surprise performance was going to cap off the evening, and it was no shock when LMFAO, the group who has produced 99 percent of the club hits heard on Jersey Shore this season ("Party Rock Anthem" and "Sexy and I Know It" also constantly play in every bar, sports arena and on every radio station in the country) came out to perform. The buffoons may have entertained the actual crowd in attendance (the audience got special 3-D glasses to wear during the set), but watching from home, it was a screaming fit crammed with a lame Justin Bieber cameo. It then quickly grew heinous when everyone on stage stripped down to their underwear. Also, David Hasselhoff and YouTube/Top Model sensation Keenan Cahill were there in their boxers, too, for some reason.

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