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Saturday Night Live: Rating the Episode on a Steve Buscemi Scale

Much like the entire series of Boardwalk Empire, this week's Saturday Night Live was dull and forgettable, though not entirely offensively bad. I don't think I had any full-blown laughs at all while watching "Steve Buscemi/The Black Keys", but there were moments that I definitely enjoyed, I guess. In the spirit of our host, let's rate the most memorable sketches on a relative scale based on Buscemi's past roles.

"Cold Opening: Obama in One"
Buscemi Role Equivalent: Bucky, G-Force
So, Fred Armisen isn't even trying to do his Obama voice anymore? Not that it would've saved this horrible sketch -- to its credit, it made me nostalgic for old "Wayne's World" Top 10 bits -- but it sealed my suspicions that Armisen probably won't be playing the Commander in Chief or staying on SNL for much longer. Congratulations... Jay Pharoah?




"Steve Buscemi Monologue"
Buscemi Role Equivalent: Mr. Pink, Reservoir Dogs
This was about as good as a monologue I could have asked for; it didn't go on too long, and the character-actors who wanted tips on breaking into lead roles were fun. I didn't roll my eyes at all in its 4:31 duration, which is basically a home run when it comes to SNL these days. Also: R.I.P. Tex.




"Frozen Mexican Dinner"
Buscemi Role Equivalent: Crazy Eyes, Mr. Deeds (or any Adam Sandler movie, for that matter)
Like I do in most fake SNL commercials and Sandler movies, I embarrassingly chuckled at this immature constipation-relief gag about eating frozen Mexican (and Indian or fish) dinners to give yourself diarrhea. If only Mr. Deeds had been so short.




"Miley Cyrus Show"
Buscemi Role Equivalent: Le touriste (segment "Tuileries"), Paris, Je T'Aime
I'm also a sucker for the Miley Cyrus Show, and it was inevitable that it'd come up this week surrounding Miley's pothead scandal. Like his role as the unlucky French subway tourist in Paris, Je T'Aime, Buscemi went with the flow and made for an enjoyable Burning Man companion. I was bored with the Maya Rudolph after what felt like the first five minutes of her Whitney Houston parody, but it was overall worth revisiting.




"SNL Digital Short: Batman"
Buscemi Role Equivalent: Rex, Airheads
Batman sure does show up at the wackiest times, doesn't he? Eh, it was fine, and certainly better than Hollywood Boulevard trash. (Note to self: Watch Airheads again ASAP.)




"Weekend Update: Drunk Uncle"
Buscemi Role Equivalent: Carl Showalter, Fargo
As far as I'm concerned, this was the best written and performed sketch of the night, and one of my favorites of the season. Clearly, the writers know their way around an intoxicated old-timer around the holidays, and Bobby Moynihan stayed perfectly glassy the entire time. It didn't hurt that it's only Weekend Update revival was a predictable and repetitive Herman Cain appearance -- luckily, we won't have to suffer through those anymore.




"Ornaments"
Buscemi Role Equivalent: Theodore Donald 'Donny' Kerabatsos, The Big Lebowski
The final sketch of the night was odd and lovely, and I only wish we got more Buscemi and less Wiig. I could watch this character describe Christmas ornaments while "beep boop beep"ing all day. Made me laugh to beat the band... parts, anyway. Course -- I didn't like seein' Donny go.




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