It's a shore thing MTV will never be considered classy.

Nothin' grim about this.

Rough week to be a horse.

While most of us (of legal drinking age) will gravitate towards our local Irish pubs this weekend to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, we'd really prefer to be imbibing cocktails at some of our favorite television watering holes. While years ago, we may have wanted to go to the Boston bar where everybody knows your name, or would've liked to take in some sweet drinks while cruising with Isaac, there are plenty of newer fictional establishments that are calling out to us these days. Man, there are a lot of lushes on TV.

The last time Community was on the air, 30 Rock hadn't kicked off what has actually been a pretty good Season 6, The Voice hadn't premiered showcasing Christina Aguilera's odd taste in headpieces, Maya Rudolph hadn't hosted the best Saturday Night Live in ages and Parks and Recreation hadn't scored such great guest stars as Paul Rudd, Louis C.K. and Kathryn Hahn. In other words, there's been lots of funny stuff on NBC of late, so Dan Harmon and the rest of the Greendale gang were going to have to bring their A-game for the show's highly anticipated return, "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts." So how did they all fare? Here's our post-hiatus status report, along with the new details we learned about each character:

ABC's Ashley Judd-starring Missing is essentially a Lifetime show. It's got all of the elements right there in front of us: A widowed retired CIA agent-turned-devoted-mother-and-florist Becca Winstone (Judd) -- who we meet at the tail end of her patented Strong Woman Jog -- travels to Europe after her son (Nick Eversman) mysteriously disappears while on a summer internship in Italy, and she'll stop at nothing to get him back. Why this isn't currently airing alongside Project Runway or Dance Moms, I'll never know.

Won't someone please think of the horses!

I'd say "Send Out the Clowns" was a pretty funny episode, but I may have a higher tolerance for Fizbo and general clown humor than the average viewer. We were probably overdue for an episode where Cam and Mitch bickered the whole time, so at least Lewis (Bobby Cannavale, who will forever be "the guy who ate his own spunk" in my heart) was thrown in there to mix things up for a change. It seems the writers are back in the groove with Manny, though the odd cut-to of him in a horse costume in front of an obvious green screen was kind of weird. And one thing I do appreciate about Modern Family is that they'll actually name-drop Oreos and Facebook -- ironically, I generally hate product placements (assuming this mention was even paid for), but the fact that Claire will talk about Facebook rather than rip-off fake Internet sites like "Facepage" and "MyBook" is one of the few times this sort of thing enhances the joke instead of drawing the audience out of the reality of the show.

CBS renewed a million shows, literally.

I knew I was going to like "Loose Ends" the minute Delroy's coked-up gang of prostitutes leapt out of his van for their heist. What can I say, I actually really enjoyed Sugar & Spice back in the day. What's more, I love Ava, who gets the highly coveted "Shot of the Week" award for shooting woman-slaying Delroy, despite the fact that he paid Boyd to protect him. Didn't he learn that just because he's got muscle behind him, it doesn't give him free reign to be completely void of basic human decency? And that the thing revered most in the universe of Justified is breaking the law when you're ethically doing the right thing? If only anyone on this show could learn these simple lessons -- take Napier, for example. How awesome was it to see Boyd channel Mags Bennett and talk up the little people versus Harlan's corruption? Walton Goggins clearly has his Emmy reel ready to go.