While most of us (of legal drinking age) will gravitate towards our local Irish pubs this weekend to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, we'd really prefer to be imbibing cocktails at some of our favorite television watering holes. While years ago, we may have wanted to go to the Boston bar where everybody knows your name, or would've liked to take in some sweet drinks while cruising with Isaac, there are plenty of newer fictional establishments that are calling out to us these days. Man, there are a lot of lushes on TV.
10. Steak Me Home Tonight & Spirits (Happy Endings)
Sure, it was a short-lived speakeasy that was run out of a food truck, but we bet if we begged Dave, he'd whip us up one of his signature Whore's Bath cocktails filled with turpentine. Delicious and we'd have lots of lovely sex dreams about him. And there's always a chance we might run into Colin Hanks.
9. Gray's Pub (Cougar Town)
Grayson owns a bar, it's not the most original or inspiring place on the planet, and lacks any distinctly fun theme (despite all of the opportunity with the touristy Florida location). So we're not completely surprised that his close friends tend to forget about it and instead down red wine by the bottle (or the fountain) in the comfort of their own cul-de-sac. Still, Grayson's bar is a great place to get some free booze and go on awkward dates.
8. Interior Illusions Lounge (RuPaul's Drag Race)
Where else is a ladyboy going to go to relax and untuck after a hard day of working it on the runway? Sitting back with an Absolut cocktail and bitching about people's lack of work ethic while the judges deliberate is our idea of a dream day -- for the tacky glitter and the catty comments alone!
7. Clyde's (New Girl)
The bartender is depressed and hung up on his ex-girlfriend, but he also doesn't seem to care much if people actually pay for the drinks they are getting. Free booze? Count us in. Plus, the place is never crowded and there's a chance we'd get hit on by a major douchebag or see some of CeCe's model friends. Just watch out for the girl with the vocal fry wearing a twee dress or else you might end up knitting in the corner.
6. MacLaren's (How I Met Your Mother)
It's your typical New York pub, with overpriced drinks and mediocre food, but the regulars get their own spots and in a city with millions of people, that sort of service is refreshing. And we'd love to watch Barney get shot down, or tell one of his Legen --wait for it -- dary tales. Maybe we'd even meet Ted. Hell, at this point we've got about as good a shot at being the mother as anyone.
5. Rammer Jammer (Hart of Dixie)
There's not a ton happening in the small town of Bluebell, and definitely little that doesn't involve quaint southern traditions and hoop skirts. If we found ourselves stuck in this distant suburb of Mobile, we'd certainly sit for a spell to watch the town doctor embarrass herself in some way, hang out with the lovable mayor and flirt with Wade the hot bartender. We'd just have to watch out for pet alligators.
4. The Stowaway (Revenge)
It's kill or be killed here, but if you've got some scandalous past, or would like to pretend like you have a scandalous past, this is the bar to go to. It's also fantastic if you are looking for a place to live, as they seem to take in strays. Maybe it's just the name, or maybe it's that the sad sack owner is just so soft-hearted and trustworthy.
3. The Bulge (Parks and Recreation)
Of all of the places and people we'd like to see when we're in Pawnee, our top drinking destination would definitely be the town's gay bar, and not just because they love Leslie Knope as much as we do. The place is always packed, and we would love an excuse to party it up with Infinite Drunk Ron Swanson and do flaming tequila shots with the gang all night.
2. Merlotte's (True Blood)
Whether you are looking for a cool refreshing cocktail or a room temperature glass of fake blood, this is the place go. Shape-shifting owner Sam is more than accommodating of all manner of supernatural beings (even when they trash the place or murder people on his property) and while the local Bon Temps residents may be on the judgmental side, since we're not currently sporting our fangs, we'd probably fit in just fine. Just don't expect to get the same waitress twice, as they tend to die or forget they have jobs. Maybe we'd even do an after-hours trip to Fangtasia, for some fangbanging fun.
1. Paddy's Pub (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
Though we're not thrilled about how they cut their limes at "The Most Freedom Loving Bar in America," there's always an open booth in a prime spot for watching the Philly-loving freaks who own the place (as we've mentioned before). But if you're planning a good old-fashioned Irish pub outing there on a rainy day, be warned: you may find yourself caught in the middle of a Game of Games.
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