Shortly after announcing eleven new series yesterday, Bravo held their upfronts in New York City, where Bravolebrities (the most demeaning word to write) walked the blue carpet to discuss their series and skirt around actually saying anything of substance. To spare you mindless quotes that give, at best, vague details about what's going to happen next season on the various Real Housewives franchises, here are the most entertaining quotes of the evening:
Top Chef's Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons, on what they're watching:
Simmons: "My husband and I watch Mad Men and Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones is amazing! I can't believe it's on cable television. After every episode, my husband and I will go on Wikipedia and just look up everything we possibly can.
Colicchio: "I'm not caught up on this season, but for Season 1, I actually worked with HBO, set up food trucks and cooked food inspired from the series. That honey cake was so good! I'm also obsessed with Shameless."
Atlanta Housewives star NeNe Leakes, on her Glee role:
"I hope you get to hear me sing on Glee. I'm hoping Ryan writes me something, because I would love to do it."
New York Housewife LuAnn de Lesseps, on 30 Rock's "Chic, C'est La Vie" parody video:
"I saw it! I love that Tina Fey, she's just so great. Just came up to me and said, 'Hi, I just wanted to say I'm a fan of the show, we're both NBC Talent!' I would love to be on 30 Rock with her."
Kathy Griffin, on her favorite Housewives single:
"I guess if I'd have to pick: The one with a lot of Auto-Tune, that has a dance mix and they lip sync."
Pregnant in Heels' Rosie Pope, on the weirdest client request she's had this season:
Pope: "Either pregnancy porn or placenta eating."
TWoP: "Like January Jones?"
Pope: "Yes, straight up, though... raw. No capsules."
Around the World in 80 Plates hosts Curtis Stone and Cat Cora on who would win a relay race with them versus Padma Lakshmi and Tom:
Cora: "Oh, us. Come on. Obviously. Why even bother asking?"
Shahs of Sunset's Reza Farahan and Mercedes "MJ" Javid on the best mustache in Hollywood:
Farahan: "I would say when Bradley Cooper was rocking his 'stache on the red carpet."
Javid: "Johnny Depp does a great one. Benicio del Toro's was pretty O.G., too. But these guys can't hold a candle to the amazing accuracy of this one's." [Wipes a crumb off of Reza's mustache.]
Andy Cohen, on leaving a glass of Maker's Mark out for Elijah on Passover:
"Yes, I will! That's exactly what I'll -- you know what, I'll probably leave out a glass of red, chalky kosher wine, actually."
Former Top Chef Fabio Viviani, on burgers:
Viviani: "I don't even eat burgers anymore. I'm sick of it. I hate talking about boorgurs [sic]."
TWoP: "And do you still have your turtle?"
Viviani: "I have six turtles, and three new ones! Do you want to see them? [Whips out his cell phone.] I haven't named them yet, but I love them!"
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