Colton (Survivor)/Karen (Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding)
For the two most lackluster, insincere apologies we've seen in a while. Colton was called on to defend his racist, bigoted behavior and he claimed he was sorry for offending people, but he was practically scoffing as he said it, all while his horrified mother looked as if she wished she could disown him on national television. And though we'd prefer not to ever defend Kim Zolciak, but when her mom Karen texted her to say she was going to be sick for Kim's wedding (weeks ahead of time) because she was upset about not getting to go to the tasting, we understood why Kim was hurt. And when Kim begged for a simple "I'm sorry," Karen just said, "Oh, gotta run," and then gave a laughing apology, much to Kim's -- and our -- dismay.

Blake (16 and Pregnant)
There were two new episodes this week, so we thought for sure that Sabrina's babydaddy, who didn't book a plane ticket or show up until weeks after the baby was born, would make this list. But then we saw the episode with Sarah and that jerk Blake. He was getting free room and board at her mother's house, but objected to the fact that Sarah's mom wanted him to take out the trash, give a measly ten bucks a week to Sarah for the baby and pick up a free crib from a family member. Instead, after being verbally abusive for a while, he just took off on a shrimp boat where he could make more cash to spend on video games and tires for his busted-looking truck.

Alexis (Real Housewives of Orange County)
This self-involved housewife took the cake at a birthday party for her four-year-old twins, where she decided to give an introductory speech for her little princesses at their insanely elaborate shindig. But instead of talking up the girls, she told the crowd of toddlers about how she nearly died giving birth (in great detail) and that this party was a celebration of the fact that they are all alive. Maybe so, but the look of horror on the children's faces means she needs to learn a lot about playing to her audience.

David Oakley (The Pitch)
His incessant gum snapping made us want to reenact part of Chicago, but he's on the list because he just seems so out of touch with reality, and he's the co-founder of an advertising agency. When his employee ended up in the ER and he needed to step in, he faltered and mostly stuck with the creative aspect and let his staff run around with bubble wrap, forgetting the actual mission. It's one thing to be a creative type, but he really came across as a small child who can't stay on track without instruction. Don Draper would not have let this fly. It's a miracle they managed to even make a pitch, but not a surprise that they didn't win the client's business.

Jef (The Bachelorette)
It takes a lot to stand out in a sea of attention-seeking douchebags, but Jef managed it, partly because of the idiotic way he spells his name, but mostly because he made his grand entrance on a skateboard like a 12-year-old. You can't get away with that as an grown man unless your name is Tony Hawk.

Winner: Alexis
After having a puppy and princess party (filled with canines from a shelter in need of a good home), she told the kids in attendance to guilt their parents into taking a dog home, as if pets are goodie bag prizes. Also, she herself didn't want a pup for her kids because they are messy. That was about an hour before she tried to convince her husband they should have another baby, and only a few days after she had said she wanted to focus on her acting/hosting career.

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