BLOGS

The Telefile

The Choice: Choose and Lose

by Angel Cohn June 8, 2012 11:20 am
<I>The Choice</I>: Choose and Lose

We'll watch pretty much anything with Cat Deeley, but this show tests even our undying affection for the hostess with the mostess. While she's her charmingly adorable self, getting in little jabs at the contestants and the celebrity daters, this show is so dreadful that we can barely tolerate it for an hour. So while she's the sole bright spot, here are the five worst things about this show:

The Damned Spinning Chairs
They were fun on The Voice, but if they're now using them to do blind dating (that isn't really blind), they've just lost any sense of uniqueness. Oh, and instead of a button on The Choice's chairs, there is a "love handle" that led to some very obvious jokes. We just kept thinking of the clever Love Handel (a classical-inspired rock band on from Phineas and Ferb) to cleanse our minds.

The Celebrity Daters
Sure there aren't going to be A-listers lining up to date strange women who could very well be stalkers, but there are cameras around. They are scraping the bottom of the barrel here. This week there was Pauly D, while The Situation is going to be on an upcoming episode. Surprised they didn't get the entire cast of Jersey Shore. Was Danny at the Shore Store too busy?

The Shadowy Dancing
Before each girl comes out, we see a giant silhouette dancing against a colored screen. Who is this for? The guys can't see it. And all the girls just gyrate lamely. It's entirely unnecessary.

The Highly Intelligent Questions
We realize that they are given a brief amount of time to ask questions during the speed dating round, but asking "who is your favorite DJ?" is pitiful and pandering, while asking questions that require lengthy answers about why you'd pick a certain location as your dream destination is also stupid. And watching some of the girls try to interject their own questions, as it was unclear if this portion was supposed to allow a back and forth, was just awkward.

The Obvious Choice
While the whole point of this show seemed to be to pick a blind date, the guys actually end up with three girls on their "teams" and whittle those down to one pick. And naturally every guy went with the hottest girl on their team. They weren't even really subtle about it. So much for the whole "maybe these guys will have to go on an awkward date with a less attractive or slightly older woman trainwreck" that we were hoping for. Now next week we can look forward to seeing how their insipid conversations play out on their dates. Or not. Maybe we won't do this to ourselves again. Then again... Cat Deeley. Maybe we'll just fast-forward to the parts with her.

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