If you haven't watched Degrassi: The Next Generation since Paige-and-Co. graduated, this summer is the perfect time to get acquainted with the current students of Degrassi Community School. Starting tonight, TeenNick will air new episodes of Degrassi Monday through Thursday. Don't believe the slander -- Degrassi hasn't died along with the use of Aubrey Graham's full name. This guilty pleasure is still as strong as ever, thanks mostly to the fantastic variety pack of characters that we've been treated to these past few seasons. Here are some of the superlatives we think these students deserve come yearbook time.
What She Wants to Win: Most Likely to Succeed, Most Athletic
What She Should Win: Most Likely to Steal Your Pharmaceuticals, Best Crazy Face
At the beginning of her time on the show, Katie was super likeable -- she was sweet, smart and driven, all with this paradoxical combination of insecurity and overconfidence that we haven't seen since Emma Nelson graced the halls of Degrassi. Then, Degrassi President Katie goes out for the national soccer team, hurts her knee at tryouts and takes a copious amount of painkillers in order to play through the pain. Katie goes from zero to crazy in two seconds, flirting with sketchy drug dealers (is there another kind?) in order to score more Oxy, taking her own wheelchair-confined mother's supply of pain meds, and overall behaving like a complete and utter mess. Sure, she's in rehab now, but we're thinking that a relapse is a definite possibility.
What She Wants to Win: Most Likely to Win a Nobel Prize
What She Should Win: Most Likely to Be in Unstable Relationships
Love you, Clare, but your relationship track record is worse than Teri MacGregor's (too soon?). Being the smart girl who consistently dates "bad boys" is so cliché, but you know it's bad when your ex crashes his hearse into a wall in order to make you love him again. Granted, Eli's kind of awesome now that he's properly medicated, but the relationship should have rang alarms far earlier than that. Plus, there really isn't a good excuse for secretly dating your step-brother, even if you were on the rebound from said needy-hearse-crasher.
What He Wants to Win: Class Clown
What He Should Win: Most Likely to Be a Third-Wheel for Life
As the first transgender student at Degrassi, he was bound to face some complications in the dating world, but honestly, his single status and awesomeness have been totally taken advantage of. Adam's fiercely loyal to his family and friends, which is probably why his brother Drew figured that Adam wouldn't mind him going after every single girl that Adam ever had a crush on. When Adam finally does get a potential date in a secret admirer, it turns out to be a guy who assumed that Adam's LGBT pin was indication that he was gay, which was basically awkward for everyone involved.
What She Wants to Win: Best Dressed
What She Should Win: Most Likely to Compare Her Life to Gossip Girl
This New York City import decided to stay at Degrassi after her twin brother Declan moved back home (A.K.A., took an acting job on Terra Nova -- so happy that worked out for you!). Fashionable, scheming and often completely misguided, she's basically Blair Waldorf, if you substituted bulimia for a severe alcohol problem (this girl would swig champagne out of SmartWater bottles... in the middle of class... during a presentation) and transported her to Toronto. She's taking control of her life and treating recovery seriously, and we're thinking that she's found some solace in watching Season 1 reruns of the show that parallels her life.
What She Wants to Win: Most Musical
What She Should Win: Most Likely to Get Kicked Off The Glee Project
The girl's got a decent voice and a great sob story (with her absent parents and her teen pregnancy, Ryan Murphy wouldn't have to actually write a thing!) but she's so annoying that she would eventually get her booted off -- but not before she gets to sing "Teardrops on My Guitar" for Zach Woodlee.
What He Wants to Win: Most Talented
What She Should Win: Most Likely to Be the Most Pretentious Person in Your Modern Literature Class at NYU
Eli's bi-polar disorder was the reason behind his rapid and intense mood swings, but now that it's under control, we can see that Eli's never going to be comfortable "blending in," even if he did trade his hearse in for a bicycle and is much more level-headed these days. He still wears black nail polish and writes plays about his ex-girlfriend, which probably means that he'll end up as the annoying college student who calls Hemingway "trite."
What She Wants to Win: Best Dancer, Best Hair
What She Should Win: Most Changed
Bianca was the cliché "vaguely-ethnic-looking-tough-girl" who reminded us a bit of Alex Nunez from before Kevin Smith decided to play matchmaker between her and Paige. Like Alex, Bianca came from a troubled background, and acted out for attention -- partying, hooking up with guys in boiler rooms and starting girl fights were all part of her daily routine. She even harassed Adam for hitting on her in dance class before she realized he wasn't "officially" a guy. Now that she's turned over a new leaf (killing your ex-boyfriend in self-defense and being forced to take over his role as drug dealer for his gang buddies will do that to you, I guess), Bianca is way less angry and has made amends with people she's hurt, including Adam, whom might actually be an awesome boyfriend for her if she ever got over his brother.
What He Wants to Win: Most Athletic
What He Should Win: Most Likely to Pull a Craig Manning
Drew has some serious issues with monogamy. He cheats on Alli Bandhari with Bianca, cheats on Bianca with Katie (basically) and then cheats on Katie with Bianca all over again. It's gross, and he should be stopped.
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