LuAnn de Lesseps
Last night on Real Housewives of New York City, the editing monkeys took absolutely no shame in taping and translating a phone call made by LuAnn, wherein she all but admits to infidelity. In case you missed it, the former Countess called a friend and told her -- while sneakily speaking in French -- to cover for her so that Ramona, Sonja, Carole and Heather wouldn't find out that she had brought a French bartender back home to their vacation digs the evening before... despite the fact that everyone in the house already knew LuAnn did take this guy, who is most certainly not her boyfriend Jacques, to bed. LuAnn, always terrible with arguments and lying, swore to her friends that she had a bunch of old friends over and nothing happened with this poor man's Johnny Depp. Everyone, especially the no-doubt thrilled producers at Bravo, know that this is a lie and that they totally hooked up.

Joe Giudice
In an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey a couple of weeks back, in the middle of his longtime pseudo-friend's birthday dinner, surrounded by half-friends, sort-of family and his own wife, Juicy Joe removed himself from the table to make a phone call "for work." He walked a comfortable enough distance away so that everyone totally knew what he was doing, and made what I can only describe as a gross cartoonish sexual grunt. Teresa eyed him both suspiciously and shamefully as he asked the alleged mistress on the other line what she was doing and then replied with, "Oh! Don't even tell me that. Mmmhmmmhmm." When Teresa started to approach him, he told his phone-mate, "Hold on, here she comes. My bitch wife. She's such a cunt," and then called the mother of his children a "retard" and "a pain in the ass." After some hasty fake-business talk in Italian, he hung up. Horrified, the only response Teresa could muster was to offer him a quickie in the middle of a vineyard as an attempt to save face. Even Caroline, Teresa's worst enemy (after herself, of course), told cameras that she feels bad for Tre.

Sure, Teresa and Juicy are married with children, but LuAnn was pretty much caught on camera and she and Jacques have been talking about having a baby together. I'm torn. Whose multilingual infidelity call do you think was worse?

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