Get ready for a glitzy fall filled with plenty of roadkill and sass.

I was really hoping last night's "Everything Is Not Okay" would open with Kristina and Adam learning that the lump isn't serious, and that the very idea of her even having cancer would propel them into a season-long story arc where they grab life by the horns. As you can imagine, I was sorely disappointed.

Last night, New Girl returned for Season 2 with two new episodes, "Re-Launch" and "Katie," to mixed results. While I laughed a bunch at "Re-Launch," it was primarily because the roomies were all together; in the second episode, they split apart and that's where the trouble started. In the first, everyone rallied around Schmidt (who had just gotten his penis cast off) and Jess (who had just lost her teaching job) and the weird entangled moments were great. While in "Katie," the storylines about future Nick and about Jess trying to juggle multiple men had their moments, but the whole thing about Winston's family visiting, and Schmidt's offensive behavior towards them, was just plain terrible. Still, there was more good than bad overall.

There have been some absolutely dreadful new sitcoms so far this season (Partners/Animal Practice), but I'm happy to say that The Mindy Project isn't one of them. While it doesn't quite live up to the expectations and the hype (given the buzz surrounding the fact that it's from, and stars, Mindy Kaling), it by no means should be mentioned in the same breath as last season's Are You There, Chelsea? and Whitney. This show has a bit of charm, and while it got off to an underwhelming start, there's definitely some potential there.

Sitcoms are usually the first to get cut when the networks decide to start offing unsuccessful new shows, and I expect Fox to get rid of Ben and Kate sometime in the next few weeks. From the basic plot to the acting to the editing, this whole series is a mess. Maybe if it had been a 90-minute movie, Ben and Kate could have been tolerable -- but anyone who thinks this is going to last more than a few episodes is going to be sorely disappointed. Here's why:

Even the stars of Revolution don't understand why so many people are watching their show.

You know, after so many horribly offensives outings last season on 2 Broke Girls, I was expecting much worse from "And the Hidden Stash." While I wouldn't exactly call the Season 2 premiere great, it had a beginning, middle and end that fit together, and wasn't completely horribly racist at all times -- progress!

This fall season, there are some truly dreadful sitcoms slated: there's one with Reba playing a down-on-her-luck version of herself, one with aliens living amongst us and one with a monkey doctor. Yet despite all of those terrible premises, this simple show about best friends turned out to be the most excruciating pilot of them all.

The horror... the horror

Looks like the insanity of Teen Mom didn't end with the series finale.