I stand by my theory that there's three ways to watch this show: with horror and disgust, with socio-economic curiosity and amazement or just as a dumb reality show where people do crazy things. I really do try to view it as all three, and I think that I've reached the conclusion that TLC's editing is what makes it grotesque, Alana's family is responsible for the brilliant side of things and both parties get credit for having the show be so compulsively watchable.

The finale last night had plenty of perplexing moments that I'll get to in a second, but I do want to defend the family before pointing out all of their strange flaws. The Thompsons are clearly kind-hearted and decent people. Do I love that Alana calls gay people poodles? In a word, no. But that's not really what's important about Uncle Lee -- the thing to note here is that everyone in the family loves and accepts him, their obvious lack of education be damned. I realize this sounds harsh, but I think that the Thompsons have demonstrated that they don't exactly take well to education... which is unfortunate for their very basic life skills, but proves that being self-proclaimed rednecks doesn't make them intolerant or anything short of decent human beings. If someone is in their family, be them gay or a baby with an extra thumb, there's no judgment or hesitation, and instead, love, support and acceptance. Even with strangers, they'll talk about vajiggle jaggle, but it never really goes beyond that, because the Thompsons are so busy having fun and driving each other crazy that there's no need to treat others with disrespect.

Okay, back to the weird stuff: The editors definitely saved the best for last with TH segments, Alana was fantastic and Glitzy came back! Still, here are the more worrisome signs of doom from "It Is What It Is":

Pumpkin and June scream at each other about the right way to hold hands while trying to take a family photo. (There were a LOT of these moments, but this was easily my favorite.)

Sugar Bear "[isn't] the dress-up type, unless there's a funeral."

Alana tells her mother that she'll throw her around after June scolds her.

During a TH, Alana obviously reads a line and then pauses to complain that gnats are crawling all over her.

Alana grabs onto her stomach and jiggles it for dear life, then happily exclaims, "I look like a blueberry in my swimsuit!"

"Baby Kaitlyn arrived on the biscuit express."

Kaitlyn does, in fact, have an extra thumb, which leads Alana to cry, "I wish I had an extra finger, then I could grab more cheese balls." (We later learn that the baby has a system in which she sucks on both thumbs at once, but trying to write it out legitimately makes me physically ill.)

Jessica says that the baby smells bad... not like "raunchy biscuit" bad, mind you, but like baby formula.

Alana sneezes all over Kaitlyn's new clothes and then says that she poops bigger than her niece. (Which, yes, is also a quote from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.)

The family cat meows and attacks Jessica and Alana out of nowhere, with special added cat screeching effects courtesy of TLC.

Alana fears that her excitement about meeting the baby for the first time will overcome her and she will urinate herself.

Baby Kaitlyn squirms uncomfortably while Alana tries to force a onesie over her head. (Though I think this looked worse than it actually was.)

Alana sprays hairspray all over her Barbie and stuffed animals for not immediately clear reasons.

June tries to sneeze in sync with her new granddaughter.

June is now able to kill gnats without hesitation or pausing during a TH.

Jessica seemingly sincerely believes that poodles are, in fact, a breed of homosexual dogs... except for maybe shih tzus or koala bears. (Remember what I was telling you about the education thing?)

Uncle Lee, Alana and Pumpkin get into a high-impact grass fight.

Jessica steps in dog droppings, but instead of changing her shoes before driving to the pageant with her entire family, she simply scrapes it off. Her mother then calls her "Doo-doo Girl."

Alana and June give each other a belly flop for good luck.

June tells Alana she can't fit into her dress because she eats too many chicken nuggets and has to stop, to which the child sadly responds with, "I can't." Later, though, she proudly proclaims that she has chicken nugget power, so there's that.

June's daughters hold her down and force her squeal like a pig for the cameras.

Check out all of our Here Comes Honey Boo Boo recaps:
Episodes 1 & 2
Episodes 3 & 4
Episodes 5 & 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
The Honey Boo Boo Guide to Life

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