Anyway, I found it kind of underwhelming that after all of the Martha Stewart involvement on 2 Broke Girls thus far, the only real results we're actually seeing -- well, being told about, anyway -- is a blurb in Martha Stewart Living. Maybe the show will do more with Martha in coming episodes, but for now, I feel incredible underwhelmed. I'm also feeling sick after watching Caroline's blood spurt everywhere, FYI.

And before I get to the groans, I'll give "And the Egg Special" the few moments where credit is due: Max asking Caroline what her face was doing when she started smiling was cute; I like her slightly out-of-place Brooklyn Hearted Sweatshirt; and it occurred to me today that there actually is an adorable new candy store in Williamsburg called Handsome Dan's (it even kind of rhymes!) in a little mall that actually looks a lot like the one on the show. I think Candy Andy was actually based on the store, but I went there this weekend, and all I'll say is that the 2 Broke Girls writers have either never actually seen it, or that they don't want Andy to start selling edible mustaches, organic cotton candy and locally-made vegan fudge because we're supposed to like him for not being a hipster. Or maybe a little of both.

Now, let's get to the worst parts of the episode:

- Beth Behrs not even trying to deliver her lines in the cold open about "hitting her bottom." (To the show's credit, I can't believe Oleg didn't make a sick joke immediately after that.)

- Han in a wig... and then a guy comes stumbling in after losing it six months prior at the exactly moment Han has it on. Yuk yuk yuk.

- Max quickly spewing something about Bris-theme cupcakes and writing "Congratulations on not terrifying women in 20 years"

- "Drama in a candy store? Did the yogurt-covered Craisins finally realize how stupid they are and commit mass suicide?"

- "One of my mom's boyfriends used to rob electronic stores. He took me once for my birthday!"

- Max loving the blood-splattered ex-soup kitchen and then throwing in the patented 2 Broke Girls joke about social media.

- "When people die, it's a buyer's market."

- "What is it about real estate that makes you want to dry hump?"

- Yet another storyline where the girls have an actual opportunity and all of a sudden they're tongue-tied and super awkward. Great.

- "I thought you guys were about supporting small women's business. And this small women's bidness needs support after the pounding it took today."

- Caroline: "I could never sell my eggs. I mean, wouldn't you hate to think you had a kid out there and not even know it?" Max: "I probably do!"

- Some fun info about Sophie: "She's building her dream house in Poland between a former death camp and a new W. She's got to be loaded."

- Oh god, Oleg stark naked in Sophie's apartment, just standing there proudly. To be fair, we were warned last week.

- One of Sophie's rules in life is to "never drink from the same well as a gypsy."

- Sophie sold two kidneys to get the down payment on her house... but don't worry, they weren't hers. [Rimshot!]

- The archetype in the egg donation lobby asking how to spell chlamydia and a few other comments and questions that don't dignify transcription.

- "Oh, you lesbians are so high maintenance," says a medical professional to two patients.

- Sophie accidentally texts her grandfather a sexy photo.

Minute I stopped paying attention and had to rewind: 0:14, just before Caroline and Max started debating about egg donation... which, by the way, is a route I am incredibly happy the show didn't take for more reasons that I can name.

Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your next show starts.