The Do's
- Nick's irrational anger at doors that pull and not push.
- Little Nick at the lemonade stand: "You're some no-good shysters."
- Every single thing to do with Nick and the elderly man on the park bench --particularly "I like your hat. I like how there's not a team or a logo, it's just blue" and "You want to see me jump really high?"
- Schmidt on the phone with the gas company.
- Schmidt on his new boss: "Robby, there's a fine line between sexual harassment and something awesome."
- The Fifty Shades of Grey contract: "Guaranteed mercury poisoning."
- CeCe's reaction to being considered the nicest: "Nobody thinks I'm a nice girl. I'm the mistake."
- Schmidt's well-placed fat joke: "I would never run away from you... but if I did, I'd run way faster than Robby."
- Schmidt's feelings for CeCe: "I will never stop wanting to kiss you, I am a monster."
- Nick getting water massage by the strange old man: "I am a huge baby."
- Nick's idea of being comforting: "Want me to get you a sanitary napkin?"
- Schmidt: "I'm a depraved freak and I want to wander into your Narnia of sexual terror and emerge like a freshly birthed calf."
- "Jump Around" being played to celebrate the gas being turned back on.
- Jess finally getting a job, though not sure teaching creative writing to adults can fully support rent and other bills, but whatever.
- Schmidt's sexy dream name: Moises Perdue
- Carla Gugino not knowing how to tie Schmidt up.
The Don'ts
- Nick's overacting of calling Jess a ninny.
- Winston finally gets a storyline with Jess, and it is about sympathy PMS.
- Jess's PMS-induced Ken doll speech.
- Jess crying uncontrollably during the middle of a job interview.
- Jess uttering these words: "I was sabotaged by my baby box."
- Winston crying and rolling around with irrational outbursts. Even his admission that it was about Shelby and then taking some water massage couldn't salvage this.
- "Men can't get their periods. Where would they put the tampons?"
- Don't drag Judy into this: "It's like a character in a Judy Blume novel."
- The inept drum roll during the gas turn on.

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