Do's
- The annoyance bowl, for all of Jess' quirks. Surprised it took so long for them to start this.
- The student that wrote the merman rapey fiction. "He was not a mer-gentleman."
- Zombie author Nick making fun of other people's writing: "What is this font? At least use Palatino."
- Pogo'ing (what your friends talk about when you leave the room): "Nick's never been pogo'd directly, but you did get his pizza one time. Which by the way is a whole 'nother debate. How did you not feel that?"
- People trying to figure out what their Pogos are. "Is it that I dance like a sea snake?"
- Barnacle toenails: "Thank your lucky stars you don't have mongrel toes."
- Edgar's girlfriend telling Jess off: "Don't ask about the duffel bag, bitch."
- Julius Pepperwood, Zombie Detective. I'd love an audio tape of the various roommates reading Nick's works of fiction.

Don'ts
- Jess miming.
- Cece bumping into Winston's morning wood, though the look on Schmidt's face was perfect. "I would like to talk about the regrettable contact between Cece's ...'down there' and my... 'parts.'"
- Nick thinking that Edgar wanted to murder Jess, and convincing Jess that her student wanted to stab her big deer eyes.
- Julius Pepperwood's accent and costumes and comments about Chicago.
- Nick awkwardly molesting Jess to steal Edgar's notebook. "He's my uncle."
- Schmidt reshaping his eyebrows.
- The safe word: "I use apricot too much in my own life... What am I supposed to call them? Sweet tangy balls?"
- That Jess' ringtone is "I'm so excited" and not the Jessie Spano version.
- On Winston's uncontrollable boner: "They make shoes for your penis, they are called pants."
- Cece's baby voice.
- Nick climbing into the shed and getting stuck in the window.
- Jess and her terrible lying: "No, I just have a deaf grocer."
- Jess singing "look at that notebook" when she's afraid of Edgar getting creepy.
- Jess getting pepper-sprayed: "My eyes! My giant eyes!"

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