Yes, if you were into taking all the joy out of everything, it'd be pretty easy to spoil all of the (non)action that takes place on the upcoming season of The Hills merely by paying marginal attention to the tabloids. Because god knows not a week goes by that we aren't informed of Speidi's latest exploits or LC's latest frenemy. The truth is that this is a show on which nothing much really ever happens. But that's why the show so successfully captures the zeitgeist: the beauty lies not in the substance of what happens or doesn't happen, but in the style in which the nothing-happening is couched.
So Whitney has left the sunny shores of California and moved to the glitzy Gotham that is New York City. Things are about to get real, right? Or, at least, a lot more fake-real than they were before? Uh, no. The City is a pale shadow of the car-wreck glory that is The Hills, and we've got a breakdown of what exactly is it that The City lacks and The Hills has got. We never thought we'd say this, but we miss the hell out of LC.
Check out our Hills vs. City Gallery!
Last Thursday, we saw the elimination of two different cast members from I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!: original supermodel Janice Dickinson and Hills star Holly Montag. Of course, the celebrities later voted to bring Holly back for one more day -- just long enough to get her into her underwear, of course -- but she was quickly sent packing again. Before Holly's one-day return, we got to sit in on a conference call with Holly and Janice, so while we weren't able to ask them about the one getting chosen over the other, we were able to ask Holly about Sanjolly, Heidi and Playboy and Janice about the granola bar incident, Jon Lovitz, her vagina and Jon Lovitz. You can't wait, can you?
Today is an interesting news day. For starters, I have good news for Moonlight fans, even better news for Larry the Cable Guy fans, and great news for fans of A Shot at Love. I also have bad news for fans of The Hills, which is also bad news for people who aren't fans of The Hills, and is in fact bad news for everybody, everywhere, who is still alive. Plus, now you can collect all of your favoritest, most boringest American Idol stars. Ask me how!
When's MTV gonna change its stupid name already? With the recent announcement regarding its reality show-heavy slate of new shows (16 new ones in all), it's like they're not even trying to pretend they have anything to do with music anymore. It's not even like on VH1, where the shows are sort of vaguely related to music via their hosts (Rock of Love, Charm School, etc.). It's just pure unmitigated trizzash.
Hey, I have a great idea! So how about we take the boringest character? From the boringest reality show? And make a show about her? It's sure to be a non-stop thrill ride, not to mention a ratings bonanza!
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