While we were naively optimistic about the Golden Globes, that's not the case with Sunday night's Oscar telecast. We're pretty much dreading it. The fact that the whole thing has been shrouded in secrecy with only drips and drabs trickling out has not done much to up our anticipation. Instead, it's filling us with feelings of horror and panic. Especially since what we have heard is pretty much a nightmare. So without further ado... the reasons we're not looking forward to the 81st Annual Academy Awards.
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8:05: The fancy folks (Jessica Chastain FTW) are getting themselves seated, steadying themselves for the entrance of ol' Stewie himself. Watch this space as we prepare to snark through Hollywood's annual celebration of itself.
8:15: Are we the only ones hoping that one of the items in the Oscar mystery boxes on the red carpet is that severed horse head from The Godfather?
8:22: Smash producers being interviewed. Kristin Chenowerth lies through her teeth, saying, "I think it's in the right hands."
8:25: Five minutes to showtime. Renee Zellweger is so excited, her face almost moved.
8:30: And here we go...
I can't tell if this is tasteful or tasteless. Either way, I guess E! is going to hit the ratings jackpot.
Piers Morgan is a judge no more.
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