Finally I can sleep at night! The Daily News has reported
that after much speculation (mostly by supercilious Williamsburg hipster douches -- whom I count myself among -- and bougie Park Slope moms), the new, Brooklyn-bound cast of The Real World
will hunker down in the neighborhood of Downtown Brooklyn. This news makes me both relieved and bummed. On the one hand, I effing hate when TV crews get all up in my business. I've experienced first-hand their disruptive nature, first when I was forced by default to be involved in the short-lived MTV show I'm From Rolling Stone
at my previous place of employ, and more recently at my neighborhood watering hole when my attempts to pound Pabst Blue Ribbon in peace were thwarted by the presence of a crew filming the new Michael Cera (swoon) vehicle Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist
. (Sorry about that run-on sentence; I had a lot of name-dropping to cram in there!) Living in New York, you're automatically subjected to some measure of film crew-related annoyance because, well, people film here. But when it gets in the way of me doing my job, or worse, working on my burgeoning alcohol addiction, it is a problem.
When's MTV gonna change its stupid name already? With the recent announcement regarding its reality show-heavy slate of new shows (16 new ones in all), it's like they're not even trying to pretend they have anything to do with music anymore. It's not even like on VH1, where the shows are sort of vaguely related to music via their hosts (Rock of Love, Charm School, etc.). It's just pure unmitigated trizzash.
Most awesome person of the week on reality TV easily goes to Harry Connick, Jr. who nearly single-handedly renewed our interest in American Idol with his charming antics and musical knowledge. You're a wizard, Harry. The rest of reality TV was filled with despicable morons, like usual.
New year... and a bunch of horrible new reality stars to contend with. Welcome to 2014, everyone.
Realizing that not everyone is a Big Brother
junkie like moi
, there was a massive verbal battle this week that went from a discussion to getting nearly everyone in the house in a senseless screaming match. It is way beyond convoluted to explain (though M.Giant did a good job attempting to
) but it got us thinking about how reality shows are really at their best when people just let their freak flags fly and start swearing or punching. Honestly, we could fill this whole list with stupid stuff that had happened on Big Brother
or A Shot at Love
but I'm trying hard to give you a little bit of variety here. I'm told that's the spice of life. With that, here are some of the most disgusting or ridiculous squabbles ever to grace the small screen. Though I'm sure this list will be outdated by tomorrow.
, a shot at love with tila tequila
, hell's kitchen
, gordon ramsay
, flavor of love
, new york
, rock of love
, the bad girls club
, johnny fairplay
, danny bonaduce
, the bachelor
, kill reality
, top chef
, the real world
, the amazing race
Have you guys heard? The D-List is the new A-List. Just ask EMMY WINNER Kathy Griffin
. Or better yet, ask the fools producing a new Fox reality show called Gimme My Reality Show!
in which, um, reality-show D-listers (which in the real world makes them Q-Listers) compete to, um, star in a reality show
. It's so meta my head just exploded. A few of the peeps on board thus far are Santino Rice
, he of Project Runway
Season Two fame and Traci Bingham of Baywatch
, which is apparently a reality show (?) now. A panel of judges made up of reality show producers and reality show A-Listers (H-listers in actual fact) will judge contestants on their ability to like, throw a hissy fit and alienate their castmates, presumably. Clearly Santino would make for a killer reality show star. I mean CLEARLY. The man has more fierce bitchy queen shenanigoats stored in his pinky than Traci has in BOTH of her silicon boobs. And I can't imagine anyone else who could even come close to his diva-tude. OR CAN I?
Gimme My Reality Show!
, Santino Rice
, Traci Bingham
, Project Runway
, The Bad Girls Club
, Celebrtiy Fit Club
, Top Chef
, The Real World
, Dustin Diamond
, Step It Up & Dance
It's almost better when you've got no idea what these people are talking about. Here we present the week's best out of context quotes plucked straight from reality television.
, reality tv quotes
, overheard on reality tv
, out of context quotes
, big brother
, bachelor pad
, toddlers and tiaras
, top chef masters
, the real world
, snooki & jwoww
I hate to start off on a rant, but I just can't wait until after the jump. Seriously, why is 90210 2.0 going to get rid of Dustin Milligan, who plays Ethan? He's one of the few characters on that show I can even tolerate. The pentapus? Kinda cute. The fact that they think he's run his course is stupid. Really? Just hook him up with a new girl. I always thought he was supposed to be the Dylan in this scenario. Which means he's got a couple more seasons of life in him yet. Instead, the powers that be are trying to find ways to make watching this show an even more painful experience than it already is (it is my job to watch it... I would have stopped long ago if I could have). Since this apparently means more screen time for the dude playing Liam, and not a promotion for the awesomely underrated Navid, I'm not happy. Okay, now on to the rest of your regularly scheduled, and less rant-filled, news.