The first season of TLC's Breaking Amish may have been obviously scripted and was eventually revealed to have altered the truth about its cast's relationship with the Amish and Mennonite communities, but at least it was watchable. The culture-shock concept of the series -- helping five young adults get out of their oppressive community, and then throwing them into New York City -- was promising enough, and even if the gang eventually admitted that they didn't exactly go from farm to Breaking Amish, their fish-out-of-water experiences produced some fine reality TV. And then TLC brought it back for a second season.
In theory, this should be my favorite competitive reality show on television. It's a cooking show, and I'm a firm devotee to the Food Network and Top Chef. It's got travel and adventure, which is why I watch The Amazing Race religiously. It's got Cat Cora, with whom I am more than a little obsessed (I've been known to turn the channel on Iron Chef if she isn't competing). It's got Curtis Stone, who is charmingly adorable on The Biggest Loser. And a host of contestants with big personalities. But while it sounds great on paper, it really just doesn't gel, at least not judging by the premiere.
Truth be told, I did not specifically remember little Eden Wood out of all the other pageant children on Toddlers & Tiaras. I also don't entirely understand why Logo, of all networks, decided to give this seven-year-old her own reality show, but I assume it has something to do with connections from her "King of Reality" manager, Andrew Sullivan. Whatever the case, the pilot was fun and mindless enough except for one obviously glaring problem: Not enough Eden!
It pains me to write about a debut episode of a new Real World season without making a Chappelle's Show "Mad Real World" joke, or to write about San Diego without quoting Anchorman, but a lot of atrocious things happened last night and I don't want to take any time away from talking about how much I hate the newest members of the MTV family. "First Impressions" had a lot of rich material to close-read, and I think that is best done by ranking the new cast from most offensive to least. Can you take a wild guess on who I thought was the worst?
We're not sure that anyone actually demanded an inside look at Paris Hilton's life, but nevertheless, Oxygen is rolling out The World According to Paris this week. To be honest, we'll probably tune in only because we think she's strangely fascinating and, whether you like it or not, extremely talented in the art of self-promotion (for example: a show called The World According to Paris airing on Oxygen). But with that said, there are plenty of other celebrities that we would've rather seen as the focus of a series like this. Here's just a few:
Yes, I realize how ridiculous that headline sounds. Yes, I am too old to be watching Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Yes, I stopped watching The Real World years ago and only have the vaguest idea who half of the contestants are. Yes, the Challenge has its flaws -- way too many off-challenge physical altercations, too many drunken hook-ups and a really boring host. But still, I think other (aging) reality shows could actually learn a lot from this series.
When's MTV gonna change its stupid name already? With the recent announcement regarding its reality show-heavy slate of new shows (16 new ones in all), it's like they're not even trying to pretend they have anything to do with music anymore. It's not even like on VH1, where the shows are sort of vaguely related to music via their hosts (Rock of Love, Charm School, etc.). It's just pure unmitigated trizzash.
Even on The CW, Nikita is one violent femme.
Somehow we're two weeks in to Real Housewives of New Jersey and none of those women have found their way on to our list. That's either a marked improvement on their part or the rest of reality TV civilization has stooped even lower.
MOST RECENT POSTS