Well, this show's a nightmare. And not even a fun way. Lifetime is trying to extend Abby Lee Miller's 15 minutes of fame, first by putting her on Drop Dead Diva and now by giving her another show where she can torture small children. The problem here is not really that it's like So You Think You Can Dance for babies, but that it's actually mostly appalling.
Steven Tyler showing up in drag on American Idol didn't even come close to making our list, so you know people had to be really crappy this week.
Emmy episode submissions are in. Let the second-guessing begin!
I was a bit worried that Dance Moms would lose its sparkle after the masterpiece that was Season 1, but within the first minute of last night's premiere, I knew I had nothing to worry about: Abby Lee Miller is back, and as twisted as ever. The whole plotline about casting a new girl was completely over the top and cruel, and if I took a shot every time Abby told a child or mother that "Everyone's replaceable," I'd be a goner. Moving forward, the jury's still out on whether "900 Number" Jill and Kendall will be a satisfying addition to the group, but until then, let's all laugh at the most ridiculous -- and, not-so-coincidentally, heinous -- lines of the evening. Shockingly, none of them are from Cathy, but we're got all season for those.
Say what you will about the moral aspect of parents parading their children around in intense competitions that may or may not be age-appropriate, but in terms of the entertainment factor of the TV shows that portray these cultures, it's hard to argue that they're not at least a little bit intriguing, if not shamefully enjoyable. After all, the best parts of these series come from the pointless drama and the stressed-out adults. (Though I do like the moments when the kids are genuinely happy, too. I'm not a monster!) TLC's Toddlers & Tiaras has had a strong choke-hold on the market of madness since early 2009... but after a strong premiere season of Lifetime's Dance Moms, I think it's necessary to pit these two shows against each other in a grudging, hair-pulling battle of exploitative candid reality shows, if not only to cut down your weekly intake of stage mothers next season. Just know that when I say "Winner", I mean which show I would rather watch, given the battle.
Lindsay Lohan was on a reality show this week (Million Dollar Decorators) and somehow she didn't make our list. What is the world coming to in 2013?
Shangela was inspiring as a role model to a young diva on Toddlers & Tiaras, but leave it to the Dance Moms stars to act like reprehensible people around small children.
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