This new Chuck Lorre sitcom is taking the place of Mike & Molly for a bit, and that seems appropriate as this show hits just about the same tone. Both are fine sitcoms with strong cast members and some funny moments, but neither really makes you want to set your DVR for a season pass. But while Mom isn't exactly breaking new ground or creating must-see television, at least it isn't as horrifically terrible as Dads. So if you are looking for a "parental" sitcom this fall, Mom would be the wiser bet.
I am not above Dance Moms -- Season 1 was a surprise hit, and the beginning of Season 2 made for some of the best candid reality TV-viewing in recent history. The second half of this season, however, definitely lost some of the magic. Everything good and bad with the current state of Dance Moms was seen in last night's finale, "Nationals 90210," which says two things: 1) There's still so much potential in this Lifetime series and 2) The current storylines have peaked, and it's time for a change. If Abby and the gang don't straighten some factors up by next season, we doubt we'll make it through much more of her drama... after all, ahhhveryone's replaceable.
I am legitimately bummed that this is the final season of Teen Mom with Amber, Farrah, Maci and Catelynn. Much as I have come around to enjoy the ladies of Teen Mom 2, last night's two-hour premiere was a cold hard reminder that we've only got so much time left with our O.G.s. Here are the premiere's highlights:
"Dirty Little Secrets" certainly lived up to its name, given the hookers and presidential infidelity going on. Here were the juiciest "secrets" from last night's episode of Scandal:
I've long held the theory that reality shows cannot thrive in Miami -- look at the Real Housewives of Miami, Miami Social, 8th & Ocean (though the seasons of Top Chef and Bad Girls Club that were in South Beach were pretty awesome, though those shows travel every season and aren't dependent on the surroundings the way that the former series were, but I digress) -- so my hopes for the South Florida spin-off Lifetime's already surprisingly wonderful Pittsburgh-based Dance Moms were exceedingly low. And the show somehow still managed to disappoint me beyond that. Here's why it doesn't work:
It was initially disappointing to find out that Teen Mom 2 would take away precious screen time from our beloved Teen Mom, but as it turns out, after two solid seasons, the second installment of "Look How Depressing the Lives of the 16 & Pregnant Girls Are Now" gives Teen Mom a run for its money in several ways -- we're even slightly excited for the recently announced Teen Mom 3. If, however, you only have room for one teen baby mama drama in your life, here's how the two current series stack up:
How is it even possible that Dance Moms is getting better at this point? Last night's "Return Of The Candy Apples" has solidified not only that Season 2 can live up to the hype of Season 1 -- it might just "turn it into applesauce," if you will. There's also news of a Dance Moms: Miami in the works, but I can't even wrap my head around that right now, what with all of these amazing quotes that sprouted up in this episode.
I was a bit worried that Dance Moms would lose its sparkle after the masterpiece that was Season 1, but within the first minute of last night's premiere, I knew I had nothing to worry about: Abby Lee Miller is back, and as twisted as ever. The whole plotline about casting a new girl was completely over the top and cruel, and if I took a shot every time Abby told a child or mother that "Everyone's replaceable," I'd be a goner. Moving forward, the jury's still out on whether "900 Number" Jill and Kendall will be a satisfying addition to the group, but until then, let's all laugh at the most ridiculous -- and, not-so-coincidentally, heinous -- lines of the evening. Shockingly, none of them are from Cathy, but we're got all season for those.
Say what you will about the moral aspect of parents parading their children around in intense competitions that may or may not be age-appropriate, but in terms of the entertainment factor of the TV shows that portray these cultures, it's hard to argue that they're not at least a little bit intriguing, if not shamefully enjoyable. After all, the best parts of these series come from the pointless drama and the stressed-out adults. (Though I do like the moments when the kids are genuinely happy, too. I'm not a monster!) TLC's Toddlers & Tiaras has had a strong choke-hold on the market of madness since early 2009... but after a strong premiere season of Lifetime's Dance Moms, I think it's necessary to pit these two shows against each other in a grudging, hair-pulling battle of exploitative candid reality shows, if not only to cut down your weekly intake of stage mothers next season. Just know that when I say "Winner", I mean which show I would rather watch, given the battle.
It's that time of year when we honor all that mothers do for their children. Though in the case of the television personalities below, being a good mom consists of pimping out your kids or hitting them with an actual hammer. Yes, these are some really special women. So happy Mother's Day and be grateful that these women didn't give birth to you.
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