After suffering through the tedium of three hours of badly scripted banter and ridiculous reality hosts trying to cobble together a show, we've had enough. Hollywood has enough ceremonies on TV where they sit and pat each other on the backs, and we're tired of sitting through them all. At least the Creative Arts Emmys have the good decency to do it on the DL and air them when people can ignore them -- unlike the Emmys, which are a big fancy event with hours of red carpet footage and a ceremony to boot. And if they're going to continue to air them, couldn't people at least go back to wearing wild outfits?
The Emmys can just be so dull and predictable... or just outright boring. Does anyone remember last year's never ending Sopranos tribute complete with Jersey Boys singing? Yeah. This year they are trying to spice things up by having Josh Groban sing classic theme songs (yup, Friends is now classic), presenters recite memorable TV lines ("Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"), recreating famous sets and reuniting stars of classic shows. Sounds like a lot is going on, but we've got some of our own ideas about how they could really make this show unforgettable, and, most importantly, watchable.
In what universe do we witness both Rachael "Yippy Dog" Ray and Tyra "Love My Fat Ass" Banks lauded with awards and given thank-you speech airtime? Why in the Daytime Emmys universe of course! The soaps and chat show circle jerk took place on Friday, and as always, there were winners and losers. In many cases the winners were, in fact losers, as in the case of the aforementioned Ray. (My view of Ms. Banks is a bit more complicated and not worth getting into here, but I'm thinking that any instance in which Banks gets more ammo for her delusions of omnipotent, Oprah-style grandeur is not necessarily a good thing.) I don't give a dang about the soap opera winners (As the World Turns swept four categories but really, who cares?) but I am happy that Ellen DeGeneres won for Outstanding Daytime Host (one of four Emmy wins this year), because she is the only TV personality besides Joel McHale who has managed not to grate on my last effing nerve. Props to the Emmy judges also for giving Everyday Italian its due, and for finally recognizing the zeitgeist-y behemoth that is The View -- a show that has been nominated ten times over the course of its run and just this year nabbed an actual award. Two, in fact. Say what you will about its choice of topics, the show is a force to be reckoned with. And further proof that Oprah is becoming obsolete: the daytime diva earned a measly two awards. Hubris, dudes. It's a bitch.
Follow our Emmy-snark in five, four, three, two, one...
Will this be the year Mad Men doesn't nab Best Drama? Will Modern Family lose anything? Time will tell!
Jimmy Kimmel and Kerry Washington got up early to read us the Emmy nominations, with Kimmel in his pajamas acting like an idiot doing nothing to help our mood as the Outstanding Comedy announcements were made. We didn't expect everything on our wish list to be acknowledged, but the fact that Community and Parks and Recreation were absent from the big category made us want to smash something, Hulk-style. If only we could get zapped by some gamma radiation before the actual awards on September 23.
This week in unnecessarily early news...
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