Last week, The CW re-aired the pilot for Smallville to lead into the final episodes of the series, and it just made me nostalgic for the show's early days. This comic-book-inspired show had so much potential and plenty of charm back then, infusing high school drama with sci-fi twists. Obviously, things have changed since then, and not for the better. Here's what we miss the most:
In many ways, this season of Smallville has been a drastic improvement over what has come before. There were more superheroes, more supervillains, more comic-accurate storylines... but there were also awkward career changes, forced romances and the return of tired characters we had more or less written off for dead. With the show recently renewed for a ninth season, we thought it was time to look at what needed to change on the show in order to keep us watching. ...Of course, we're not making any promises, but it will be a hell of a lot more likely.
One of the least egregiously wrong things about 1995's Batman Forever (aside from the inclusion of Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" on the soundtrack) was the fact that they didn't get Robin's origin completely wrong. Dick Grayson and his parents were acrobats in a traveling circus, and the parents were killed by a gangster. Why they were killed and by what gangster doesn't really matter, just that Batman took the orphaned boy in and taught him to fight crime, grooming the man who would one day be his successor... you know, if he doesn't get horribly killed in the line of duty first. Well, the producers of Smallville have decided that if Joel Schumacher himself can't destroy something that isn't broken, then they sure as hell can. The show's creators weren't allowed to do Batman: The Early Years, so now their successors are going to do Robin: The Beginning.
Beware, Superman -- Smallville is doomed! Okay, that's been pretty self-evident since the third season, but this time it's for real! Remember back when Superman died? In the comics? Made a lot of newspapers? No? That's okay, it only lasted, like, a year. Anyway, the guy who killed him was a huge, ugly alien named Doomsday, and it looks like he's about to pull a repeat performance on Smallville as Doomsday...Bartender of DOOOOOMMMM!!!!
Move over Al Lewis, there's a new Grandpa Munster in town.
Tale as old as time... an ex-Smallville star books a new gig.
Fox is bringing down the House. Get it? You get it.
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Tom Welling trying to act!
Shows like Doctor Who and Quantum Leap are entirely based on the premise that they send their lead characters all throughout various points in time. Terra Nova isn't jumping all over the place, but instead just sends a handful of people 85 million years back, in some sort of alternate timeline, in order to save a few members of mankind. While they seemingly can't save the folks in our existence who can't see the sun, or breathe on their own or eat oranges or have more than two children without getting arrested, they do have a plan on saving humans as a race by sending them through a portal back 85 million years to create a new society. Or something. We're a little fuzzy on the details.
With another Fourth of July upon us, it's time to celebrate our freedom, and for us TV junkies, that means freedom from crappy shows and, more specifically, certain awful characters. Some of these people were on blissfully canceled shows, while others were recently ousted from halfway decent programs. Let's toast our independence from these most dreadful creations:
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