TWoP 10: Things Donald Trump Will Do When He Becomes President

Recent Comedy Central roastee and Celebrity Apprentice host Donald Trump has mentioned his interest in running for president of the United States, and while we laughed that off at first, apparently he's got a shot. According to a recent poll of Republican primary voters, he's currently the second choice to get the nomination. Maybe the American people love that comb-over after all? To prepare ourselves for the impossible coming true, we've looked ahead at Trump's first ten orders of business upon taking the Oval Office.

Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump: Here’s the Situation

by Angel Cohn March 16, 2011 10:18 am
<i>Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump</i>: Here’s the Situation

After hearing how bad The Situation was when they taped this roast, I was dreading it, and, well, for his part he totally bombed. Completely. There was deafening silence as he delivered his clunkers which turned to extremely vocal boos during the course of his few minute stint. Jeff Ross tried in vain to assist him, but it was too late, Sitch's comedy career was dead on arrival. However, I'd love it if he was at future roasts, not to deliver any of his own "zingers," but because he was the butt of more jokes than Trump himself. Fair warning, the content below is not for the faint of heart, or really anyone who doesn't have a sense of humor.

Donald Trump Did a Nice Thing? I'm Confused.

by Mindy Monez August 15, 2008 10:58 am
Donald Trump Did a Nice Thing? I'm Confused. Good news, everybody! Weird news, but still! Really good! It looks like the bleak hell that has become Ed McMahon's life has suddenly become slightly less horrifying, thanks to... Donald Trump, of all people. Homeboy has agreed to buy McMahon's $4.6 million dollar mansion and let him live in it for free, saving it from foreclosure and McMahon from certain homelessness. Aww. Why would he do this, you ask? According to Trump, it's just because a long time ago he went to a fancy school none of us can afford/get into and don't you effing forget it, and while he was there he loved to watch what I can only assume was The Tonight Show. He told the L.A. Times, "When I was at the Wharton School of Business I'd watch him every night. How could this happen?"

Trumps Trump Hogans, Kardashians in Trashiest TV Family Contest Not satisfied to exploit every inch of his own being and empire, Donald Trump has resorted to pimping out his daughter Ivanka for a new reality dating show called Date My Daughter. To quote the press release/casting call: "'Date My Daughter,' starring Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka, features dads helping their daughters find true love, with daddy's approval [Ed's note: PUKE! Any grown woman who calls her father "daddy" needs to quit it. NOW.] Casting producers are looking for socialites [Eds' note: Again, puke.] between the ages of 21-30 years old who are attractive, possess a great attitude and a generous spirit. The dads should be affluent and interested in helping their daughters find true love." Here's a thought. Maybe these "affluent dads" should mind their own damned business and/or explore why they take such an abiding interest in their daughters' dating practices. In therapy.

The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week

by Angel Cohn March 8, 2013 11:05 am
The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week

Randy laughing at Charlie while the emotionally unstable kid was on the verge of tears might have just been one of his nervous ticks, but it still wasn't cool. Still, the Idol judge wasn't as terrible as the other losers on our list this week.

Today's TWoP News: Thursday, July 5, 2012

by Samantha Rullo July 5, 2012 4:08 pm
Today's TWoP News: Thursday, July 5, 2012

There may be something more embarrassing about The Apprentice than Donald Trump's hair.

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