The Telefile

TWoP 10: TV's Worst Moms

by admin May 8, 2009 6:00 am
TWoP 10: TV's Worst Moms

Normally Mother's Day is a time to celebrate television's great moms, like Tammy on Friday Night Lights or Marge Simpson, but where's the fun in that? Instead, we pulled together a list of the bad TV moms who are currently wreaking havoc on their offspring on a regular basis. Happy Mother's Day! Hopefully your mom doesn't suck as hard as these people.

1. Christina Rose (Prison Break)
This badass lady just returned to the scene (after being presumed dead for many years), and revealed herself as a part of the Company that her sons have been attempting to take down. But in her desperate bid to take over The Company, she's already tried to have her kid Lincoln shot by a sniper, had both Linc and Michael held hostage, and tried to convince Michael that the brother he's given up his entire life for... isn't really his brother. Oh, and did we mention that she lied to them about being dead all this time? It is no wonder that it only took her three episodes to shoot to the top of our list.

2. Bree Van De Kamp (Desperate Housewives)
Bree seems like the perfect mother, with baked goods at the ready and painstakingly coiffed hair, but for every nice thing she does, there's an ulterior motive. She hid her daughter's pregnancy and raised it as her own, but lost it when her daughter (who rarely speaks to her) came back for the kid, and then went against her kid's wishes and fed her vegan grandchild a hot dog. And she tried to get her son "fixed" when she discovered he was gay. She also slapped him once (sure he was an ass, but that's partially her fault too) and has abandoned him literally on the side of the road when he was at his lowest. And even though we've never actually seen her say it, we've got a feeling she's against wire hangers.

3. Joan Rivers (Celebrity Apprentice)
Joan does deserve credit for being one tough cookie and having a fierce love for her daughter Melissa, but as we saw on Celebrity Apprentice, she's done nothing but raise a co-dependent child who can't defend herself. Melissa's a fighter but Joan is too quick to jump in and try to rescue her kid instead of letting her stand on her own two feet. Not to mention all of the nepotism involved with Melissa's jobs all seeming to be off shoots of her mother's career. It's time for that annoying little bird to leave the nest given that she's in her 40s and has a kid of her own.

4. Claire (Lost)
Blondie here abandoned her infant to the babysitting equivalent of wolves that is Sawyer and Miles to run off with a jungle zombie last season and we haven't from her since. Not to mention that time she woke Aaron in the middle of the night without even considering how fussy he'd be the next day. Even Charlie was like, "I may be a heroin-addicted hobbit who knows nothing about parenting, but you heard screams so you woke up the baby and ran toward them?" We're paraphrasing of course, but the fact remains -- girl needs to get her mothering head in the game. If she's even still alive, of course.

5. Angela Petrelli (Heroes)
Well, there's the Peter-come-bail-me-out-I'm-a-sock-thief that introduced us to her, and there was the Season 1 admission that she has a favorite child (Peter), but that's really just the tip of the iceberg. She persuaded Nathan not to meet his daughter Claire and paid the girl's mother hush money, later she allowed him to believe Claire died when she knew otherwise, she used to very openly say Peter wasn't capable of much (we're not saying she was wrong, but we're not his mother), and she's generally never passed up an opportunity to meddle in her sons' lives or manipulate them. The woman makes Joan Crawford look like June Cleaver.

6. The Countess (Real Housewives of New York)
The Countess seems to like her kids OK, but when it comes to motherhood requirements that cut into her being-obsessed-with-myself time, she's like, oh, screw this. She goes out and parties despite her son's pleas that she stay home with him, can't be bothered to even be aware of major events like almost all the children's pets dying in the span of a week, and seems to require her housekeeper Rosie to parent the children in most capacities. And while there's nothing wrong with boarding school and it can be a wonderfully rich educational and social experience for a child and it's important not to pass judgment on the subjective ways in which other people choose to raise their children... this crone sends her kids off to boarding school! Yes, in 2009 and everything! Can you believe it?!

7. Sarah Connor (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles)
There's being a proud mother and setting goals for your children, and then there's demanding they forgo an education and a childhood in order to save mankind one day. Talk about pressure. Sarah Connor is the mother of all unrealistic expectations and nagging criticism. No wonder she demanded they all quit family therapy.

8. Wilhelmina Slater (Ugly Betty)
She's got one daughter who has spent her entire life in boarding schools and even lives on another continent to avoid her, and she tried to have a son for the sole purpose of taking over Meade publications. She took frozen sperm from her dead fiance and totally ignored her surrogate through the entire pregnancy and then barely acknowledged the child when it was born. Then when she learned that the baby wasn't hers she tried to fake DNA results to keep the child from its real mother. So loving. Plus, she's a manipulative, cold, ambitious sort who will stop at nothing to get what she wants. And she's so terrible that even her own father wants little to do with her.

9. Lily van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl)
She may seem like a generous and giving mother, but mostly she's so wrapped up in her own drama that she's neglectful. She paid so little attention to her son that he attempted suicide and her daughter nearly killed a guy. That's all not even taking into account that she just had her daughter arrested and tossed in jail, under the guise of protecting her. All that money can't make you a good parent.

10. Kate Gosselin (Jon & Kate Plus 8)
There are things about Kate Gosselin's parenting that are admirable. She makes the effort to cook healthy meals regularly, and we are impressed that she's able to remember all eight of their names. Admittedly two things that are above and beyond what we would be capable of if we were the mother of eight small children. But besides whoring them out on national television and allowing all their pooped pants (they do that a lot, by the way. Is that normal? That might be her fault too, we're not sure) and crying at dead animals during Planet Earth viewings to be broadcast to the world so that all their future middle school classmates can torture them properly, Kate yells, nags and insults her husband in front of the kids constantly. And we mean constantly. After becoming traumatized shells of humans after videos of their bedwetting are passed around their entire adolescence, those Gosselin kids are going to have some serious relationship issues with that woman as their role model.




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