With the cable networks announcing their new lineups, and just a general glut of reality programming on the airwaves, there seems to be more familiar-sounding unscripted shows than ever before. While we might enjoy some of the original versions, all of these knock-offs and spinoffs are getting to be a bit much. So we're asking (no, pleading) that these subjects officially be off limits for any future reality series.
There are currently three shows that are specifically devoted to hoarding (Hoarders, Hoarding: Buried Alive and Confessions: Animal Hoarders), one devoted to slovenly people who aren't called hoarders by name (Clean House) and countless TV specials on the subject. That's far too many. They all have minute differences, but there's only so many squashed cat carcasses a person really needs to see in a lifetime.
Pawn Stars has its charm and Hardcore Pawn probably gives a more disturbingly accurate look at the pawning business, but now there is the less interesting Pawn Queens. And that's not even counting all the shows about buying and selling old "antique" junk. Just because a show is about people trying to get money for their crap, doesn't mean it's going to be good, and it certainly doesn't mean it's necessary.
8. Cakes and/or Cupcakes
Sure we enjoyed Ace of Cakes for a while, and even Cake Boss, but now there's Food Network Challenge, Last Cake Standing, Next Great Baker, The Cupcake Girls, DC Cupcakes, Cupcake Wars and the forthcoming Amazing Wedding Cakes. Our sweet tooth has had it, but dentists of the world are probably rejoicing.
7. Anything to do with The Hills, The Kardashians or Hugh Hefner
We thought The Hills was over, but Audrina Patridge, the most boring of all The Hills stars, is coming back. There are also spinoffs of The Kardashians in some endless permutations, and most of Hefner's exes or former Girls Next Door seem to be immediately optioned for their own program. We don't have many brain cells left... we'd like to keep them.
6. Wedding Competitions
WE and TLC have wedding shows coming out the wazoo and now we've entered a world where winning a magical day involves doing disgusting things and backstabbing people Survivor style. There's Bridalplasty, where people competed for plastic surgery to look beautiful on their wedding day, Shedding for the Wedding, where overweight couples shed pounds to get a dream day and Wedding Wars, where couples are generally reprehensible to each other and compete in challenges to get their big day gratis. If you can't afford a dream wedding, either call David Tutera or maybe think about scaling back instead of acting horrible on TV.
5. Weight Loss
We're often inspired by the stories on The Biggest Loser and Heavy, but we really don't need even more shows about people trying to shave off pounds. Loser is already too long, but there have been people dancing their asses off, shedding for their wedding, teens losing it before college and 15-year-olds that are just too fat for their age group. How many trainers yelling at people can we possibly be subjected to?
4. Ghost Stories and/or Ghost Hunting
SyFy alone announced several new shows that are about ghost hunting, or recreating ghost stories and even a scripted parody of the genre. When you're parodying your own shows, you've probably gone too far. Plus, we're sick of our moms telling us about all the haunted places and celebrities who have had ghostly encounters. And we're definitely over anything that looks like Paranormal Activity.
3. Famous and/or Rich Wives
There are reports that there will be no more additional Real Housewives spinoffs, and that's a blessing, but that's only half the problem. There are basketball wives and mob wives and other assorted shows about women who have married well and now live in the lap of luxury. How many pampered women spending obscene amounts of money and screaming at each other could possibly be necessary?
Let's give the so-called Garden State a rest, okay? Is there not another state that has horrifying people living in it that we can expose to the world? Jersey Shore exists and is spawning two, yes two, spinoffs. One with JWOWW and Snooki living together and one with Pauly D doing his DJ thing. And there's not only the Real Housewives of New Jersey but also Jerseylicious and Jersey Couture. Come on, the state may be terrible (I know; I live there), but not everyone in it is orange and has a combative attitude.
1. Singing Competitions
Honestly, if we hear that another show is going to scour the country for the best singer, we're going to scream. Not too far off in the future is The Voice, CMT's Next Superstar and The X-Factor on top of an already oversaturated market filled with American Idol, The Sing-Off and America's Got Talent. That's at least five too many of these types of shows, if you ask us. We far prefer it when people lip-sync for their lives... at least our eardrums don't suffer because of it.
Which of these trends have you seen enough of? Sound off below.
Watch TWoP's editors discuss reality TV's worst trends in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable channel:
View more videos at: http://www.nbcnewyork.com.
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