Based on their body of work, who else might make an entertaining matchmaking subject? And yes, some of these people are currently married or in relationships, but, much like VH1 matchmaking shows, this is pretend. Let the VH1 fantasy Yenta business begin!
The Aformentioned Rutger Hauer
Do you like to be tortured? How about just terrorized? Are you in need of a valuable lesson against picking up hitchhikers? It'd be like Saw: The PSA, but with a People magazine cover at the end!
She'll pull your wig off and throw you down the spiral staircase! He who survives wins the privilege of showering Joan Collins in diamonds and vintage Bill Blass until she tires of him!
This teddy bear of a guy is a looking for a kind lady who can accurately pronounce "Diabeetus" whilst perched atop an Appaloosa, and still find time in the day to hide the Cocoons. Early alien possession detection and prevention also a plus.
It's probably best if we bus these guys in from the State Pen. Challenges will include: Over-acting, intimidation (easy for inmates!), losing Oscars to Jodie Foster in the late 80s that you very much deserved instead, and pitying men. Each episode will conclude with the dramatic Big Chill Soundtrack Ceremony, where those asked to stay on until next week are given a copy of The Big Chill soundtrack. The unlucky gent eliminated gets sent back to the State Pen., where he will likely be pretty unpopular.
No joke here, really. This summation of all things good, tasteful and adorable hasn't had a relationship in something like 20 years, and I'd really appreciate it if someone would mend his broken heart already.
And we already know how I feel about the idea of Anne Heche finding love on television.
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