I've got to thank my dear pal Michael Ausiello over at EW for this one -- he's discovered that one Miss Joey Potter will be resurfacing on the small screen in an episode of Eli Stone. Damn. I guess this means I've got to start watching this show. I tried, because of the Jack Bristow factor, but got bored after one episode. Normally I object to this kind of stuntcasting, but I'm totally selfish and that only goes for shows that I actually watch/am obsessed with. This one I don't care about, and I love me some Katie Holmes, before and after the craziness that surrounds her, Tom and Suri. She'll always be my little sweet Joey Potter. Nothing, not even Scientology, can take that away from her.

Like it or not, as long as networks will never be satisfied with having a modest but decent enough audience for a series, stuntcasting will always be with us. So like it or not, Christina Ricci will appear in three upcoming Saving Grace episodes this season. I don't really understand why, of all the shows in the world, Ricci chose that one to guest on, considering she's pretty famous and could probably get a spot on a much bigger show, but maybe she's a fan. And working with Holly Hunter is nothing to sneeze at, so that may be the reason as well.

Few things cause me to weep openly more consistently than Quantum Leap episodes, so I think it's safe to say I'd follow Scott Bakula anywhere... even if where he's going involves Ray Romano. That's right. My Scott Bakula (who I affectionately nicknamed "Dracula" when I was 10. I wasn't very clever back then) passion runs that deep! The former time-traveling physicist has signed on for Men of a Certain Age, a TNT drama pilot co-starring Ray Romano and Andre Braugher, who's one of those actors whose name I know but whose work I've never actually seen. Anyway, I'm sure he's very talented.

Well, not exactly. But I was present for a round table of sorts with Battlestar Galactica's most famous cylon about her new gig on USA's Burn Notice. For starters, Helfer confirmed she will be in a whopping seven (possibly eight) out of 16 episodes this season, so tonight's season premiere is no mere guest appearance. And aside from knowing she's generally scary and bossy, she doesn't know a whole lot about her new character yet. "To be completely honest, I really don't know much of Carla's back story. I do know that she was a spy, and that she is now the public face of the organization that burns Michael. So she is definitely in a leadership position, and, at this point, pretty much ordering Michael around." Poor Michael. That guy just can't catch a break.

In July, 2007, the Biography Channel announced that William Shatner would be given his own talk show, and the world froze. Babies stopped crying, birds stopped flying and dogs stopped licking themselves. Then nothing happened for over a year. Cut to today: the Biography Channel announces that Shatner's Raw Nerve will air on August 19. Nobody notices.

So it's official -- Chris "Mr. Big" Noth is leaving Law & Order: Criminal Intent, and will be replaced by Jeff "The Fly" Goldblum. I know, your head is exploding, right? It's the end of an era! The dude was on the original Law & Order from 1990-1995, then came back to CI ten years later! He's a, whaddayacallit, an edifice! Of course, Goldblum is no slouch. Not only was he a Jewish cowboy in Buckaroo Banzai and a cocaine dealer in Deep Cover, but he was actually a cop for seven episodes of 2007's short-lived Raines.

And by "might," I mean she definitely will, because the only contingencies are reportedly storyline and cash, two things the show's producers would be out of their minds not to give her. Brenda Walsh returning to 90210 would be ratings gold, and I have to admit, I am dying to see her square off with Kelly Taylor again (she's got it coming!), as well as with the new characters played by Lori Loughlin and Jessica Walter (a Brenda vs. Gangy fight would make Dynasty's epic Alexis and Krystle battles look like Wall-E holding a basket of kittens!). That is, at least for the four of five episodes Doherty will last before she starts fighting with the other cast members and has to be written off the show a la the original 90210 series and Charmed. Sigh.

Jason Schwartzman has been cast as the lead in HBO's pilot Bored to Death, as a shaggy-haired Brooklynite with a drinking problem and a penchant for pulp crime novels. The news story didn't mention whether or not his character would have a giant Devendra Banhart beard, prominently displayed Nitzer Ebb records and the Criterion edition of Le Cercle Rouge in his apartment in addition to an addiction to PBR, but I think it's safe to assume he will.

Guess who's been cast as an assassin-slaughtering super-badass in an upcoming big-budget action flick. This guy! (Maybe he'll wash away the world's evil with ... his tears?)

Are casting directors, showrunners and network executives purposely trying to conspire to force me to stop watching my favorite shows? Seriously, people. I'm OK with a little bit of stunt casting, but I've about had it up to here (gesturing approximately 12 inches above my head) with the starlets who find more fame on the pages of the tabloids than from doing any actual work, coming onto my favorite shows and mucking things up and then getting a lot of credit when the show gets a ratings boost.