Jimmy Kimmel and Kerry Washington got up early to read us the Emmy nominations, with Kimmel in his pajamas acting like an idiot doing nothing to help our mood as the Outstanding Comedy announcements were made. We didn't expect everything on our wish list to be acknowledged, but the fact that Community and Parks and Recreation were absent from the big category made us want to smash something, Hulk-style. If only we could get zapped by some gamma radiation before the actual awards on September 23.
Outstanding Drama Series
Game of Thrones
No nod for The Good Wife? We thought that was the most Emmy-friendly show on the planet. How did that get left off? Was it because of Downton Abbey suddenly being considered a drama and not a miniseries? Probably. We also would have picked Justified over Boardwalk Empire, but honestly, we'd pick almost anything over Boardwalk Empire. We're just going to sit here and sulk about Sons of Anarchy and Justified being left almost completely off the Emmy radar.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Hugh Bonneville (Downton Abbey)
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Damian Lewis (Homeland)
We're psyched for the Damian Lewis love, and this list wouldn't have been complete without the Cranston/Hamm combo, but we long for the days when Downton Abbey was in the miniseries category and we had room for some more unlikely candidates like Justified's Timothy Olyphant or Sons of Anarchy's Charlie Hunnam. (Really any major acknowledgement of either of those shows would have been nice. And while we didn't want Kelsey Grammer to get nominated for Boss, it is surprising he wasn't, especially since he won a Golden Globe for that same role.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Kathy Bates (Harry's Law)
Glenn Close (Damages)
Claire Danes (Homeland)
Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey)
Julianna Marguilies (The Good Wife)
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)
While we were resigned to the fact that Moss was going to get a nod, even though she was only on about five episodes this season, we're really scratching our head at the nomination for Bates -- not because we discount her acting ability (she's an Oscar winner and all), but because of the ridiculous comedic nature of that show. How can that compare to the likes of Madeline Stowe in Revenge or Katey Sagal in Sons of Anarchy? And do all ten people who watch Damages on DirecTV belong to the Emmy committee or what? Or did they just see Close's name and check it because they recognized it? As for Dockery, she's the one Downton Abbey nod we were really hoping for, so good for her. But come Emmy night, we're pinning our hopes for Danes to win big.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad)
Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad)
Brendan Coyle (Downton Abbey)
Jim Carter (Downton Abbey)
Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
Jared Harris (Mad Men)
We couldn't have picked between the two Breaking Bad stars either, so we're beyond thrilled that both made the list. We're not sure how we'll side on Emmy night, so we might have to go with Dinklage, as his Tyrion Lannister is a scene stealer. But here's where we again wish Downton was a mini, because it is ridiculous to us that Homeland's Mandy Patinkin got snubbed. And while Jared Harris's swan song was deserving of a nod, John Slattery really brought Roger to an entirely different LSD-fueled level this season and that shouldn't have gone unnoticed.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Anna Gunn (Breaking Bad)
Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey)
Joanne Froggatt (Downton Abbey)
Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)
Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)
Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
We're excited about Baranski, Gunn and Hendricks, as all of them really deserve their noms, but how can Game of Thrones be nominated in a bunch of categories and Lena Headey still be overlooked? She gives us nightmares, she's so twisted. And we're going to pout about Southland's Regina King and Sons of Anarchy's Maggie Siff getting overlooked because while those shows are clearly off the Emmy radar, they are still badass and awesome in our book.
Outstanding Comedy Series
Curb Your Enthusiasm
We're beyond steamed about the fact that both Community AND Parks and Recreation failed to get nominated here. It's really just appalling as they are two of the most consistently funny shows on television. Not to mention the lack of appreciation for Louie, New Girl, Happy Endings and House of Lies. We'd have for sure ousted the decent, but not fantastic, seasons of 30 Rock and Curb Your Enthusiasm in a heartbeat. We are pretty excited to see that Girls got a nod, but then again, Emmy voters do love them some HBO. Maybe if we could get Community on HBO, then the show would finally get the respect it deserves.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Don Cheadle (House of Lies)
Louis C.K. (Louie)
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men)
Can someone explain the existence of Jon Cryer as a TV actor and credible Emmy nominee to us? Because we're having a hard time grasping that concept. Honestly, the fact that he's here and Joel McHale isn't is just utterly preposterous. And while House of Lies and Louie didn't get a show nod, we're glad to see that at least its respective stars managed to squeak in here for nominations. And we're still bored by the predictable accolades for Baldwin and Parsons, but at least those two don't make us want to bang our heads against our desks like Cryer. We're going to be pissed about that one for a long time.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Lena Dunham (Girls)
Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly)
Zooey Deschanel (New Girl)
Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep)
What happened here? How did seven women get nominated instead of the six that are allotted? Was there a tie? Or did they need to find a way to shoehorn Falco in somehow. And while we were hoping for Awkward's underdog Ashley Rickards to get nominated, we fully realize that was never going to happen. We're just going to take our little Leslie Knope-loving selves and walk away quietly before someone realizes this glaring error.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy
Ed O'Neill (Modern Family)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family)
Ty Burrell (Modern Family)
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
Max Greenfield (New Girl)
Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live)
Can we just rename this the Outstanding Supporting Actor on Modern Family category? Because that's what it has turned into. Also, while we do love Bill Hader, and it isn't a new occurrence, it's just a little weird that it is the Primetime Emmy nominations and he's included. That show isn't on in primetime and isn't eligible for Outstanding Comedy, after all. And, we're sure people are as sick of hearing us gripe about the lack of Community love as we are saying it, but how the hell was this list created without Danny Pudi and Jim Rash? And no Aziz Ansari or Chris Pratt or Adam Scott from Parks and Recreation. Or Adam Pally from Happy Endings? Maybe one or two Modern Family stars could have been sacrificed to make room for some of the other talented funny guys in the business. So, what we're saying is... GO SCHMIDT!
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy
Mayim Bialik (The Big Bang Theory)
Kathryn Joosten (Desperate Housewives)
Julie Bowen (Modern Family)
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
Merritt Wever (Nurse Jackie)
Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live)
See our SNL and Modern Family rants above. But also, how was Anna Chlumsky the only person from Veep ignored when she's one of the best parts of the show? And no love for Kristen Bell, because apparently only we love her. And again, Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs and Aubrey Plaza were ignored for being on shows that Emmy voters apparently hate or just don't watch.
Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program
Phil Keoghan (The Amazing Race)
Ryan Seacrest (American Idol)
Betty White (Betty White's Off Their Rockers)
Tom Bergeron (Dancing With the Stars)
Cat Deeley (So You Think You Can Dance)
Our wish list had Nick Cannon, Colby Donaldson, Jeff Probst and RuPaul on it, as well as our beloved Cat Deeley. While we can't really object to the Amazing Phil, how the hell did Betty White get on here? The saddest part is that she's probably going to win.
Outstanding Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race
Dancing With the Stars
So You Think You Can Dance
Congratulations to the worst season of Top Chef and one of the duller seasons of Project Runway still getting nominations. How does that happen? Do people just not watch enough reality television? If so, how do they still get to vote? It's crazy that shows like The Pitch, RuPaul's Drag Race and Work of Art get overlooked for more of the same old, same old.
Outstanding Reality Program
Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution
Who Do You Think You Are?
Our wish list didn't include a single show that actually got nominated. We were hoping for Comic Book Men, Dance Moms, Hoarders, Real Housewives of New Jersey and Sister Wives. So yeah, we're on different pages in entirely different books here. And it proves that the Emmy voters aren't actually watching AMC, and only checking out screeners for Mad Men and Breaking Bad, because there was just no love at all for any of their reality programming, which is actually pretty good.
Outstanding Miniseries or Movie
American Horror Story
Hatfields & McCoys
Hemingway & Gellhorn
We'd have subbed in The Hour instead of the dull Hemingway & Gellhorn, but otherwise these are pretty dead on. Well, aside from the fact that we still don't understand how American Horror Story and Sherlock are considered miniseries and Downton Abbey isn't, but whatever.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie
Woody Harrelson (Game Change)
Kevin Costner (Hatfields & McCoys)
Bill Paxton (Hatfields & McCoys)
Clive Owen (Hemingway & Gellhorn)
Idris Elba (Luther)
Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock)
Pretty solid list, as we're happy for both the Sherlock and Luther nods, but we'd have liked Page Eight's Bill Nighy or Dominic West (The Hour) to edge out Costner or Paxton, but so long as neither of those two win, we'll be happy.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie
Connie Britton (American Horror Story)
Julianne Moore (Game Change)
Nicole Kidman (Hemingway & Gellhorn)
Ashley Judd (Missing)
Emma Thompson (The Song of Lunch)
Now this one only has five people instead of six? The Emmys are just making up rules as they go along, apparently. As well as rebranding cancelled shows "miniseries," so the likes of Ashley Judd could get a nomination. We're hard-core rooting for Connie Britton, but Moore probably has this one in the bag.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie
Denis O'Hare (American Horror Story)
Ed Harris (Game Change)
Tom Berenger (Hatfields & McCoys)
David Strathairn (Hemingway & Gellhorn)
Martin Freeman (Sherlock)
Again, there's only five... just to be random. And the Emmy nominators loved Hatfields & McCoys way more than we (or perhaps anyone) did. We were hoping that American Horror Story's Zachary Quinto would have found his way onto the list, but we guess they just didn't feel like throwing a sixth person in?
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie
Frances Conroy (American Horror Story)
Jessica Lange (American Horror Story)
Sarah Paulson (Game Change)
Mare Winningham (Hatfields & McCoys)
Judy Davis (Page Eight)
Another short-changed category, for some reason. Guess they want to keep us on our toes. We'd have liked to have seen Lara Pulver from Sherlock and Ruth Wilson from Luther recognized, but those damned Hatfields and McCoys just have some kind of crazy appeal.
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Dot-Marie Jones (Glee)
Maya Rudolph (Saturday Night Live)
Melissa McCarthy (Saturday Night Live)
Elizabeth Banks (30 Rock)
Margaret Cho (30 Rock
Kathy Bates (Two and a Half Men)
Who the hell did Kathy Bates pay off to get not one but two Emmy nods for equally ridiculous things? Can't she make a good miniseries or something instead? We know she's capable. Instead of the two 30 Rock noms they picked, we would've far preferred Chloe Moretz and Mary Steenbergen, and while we love Dot-Marie Jones, NeNe Leakes stole the show (we never thought we'd type those words). And neither of the SNL hosting gigs were that great, and we're pretty shocked that Ellen Barkin was overlooked... considering she was on Modern Family and all.
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Michael J. Fox (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Greg Kinnear (Modern Family)
Bobby Cannavale (Nurse Jackie)
Jimmy Fallon (Saturday Night Live)
Will Arnett (30 Rock)
Jon Hamm (30 Rock)
The only one of these on our wish list was Kinnear, and though we're not entirely unhappy with the 30 Rock picks, we'd have gone with Will Forte and James Marsden instead. And we had also hoped to see Matthew Bomer for his turn on Glee, Justin Long for his arc on New Girl and, of course, Paul Rudd for his Parks and Recreation stint, but apparently we were just aiming too high.
Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Martha Plimpton (The Good Wife)
Loretta Devine (Grey's Anatomy)
Jean Smart (Harry's Law)
Julia Ormond (Mad Men)
Joan Cusack (Shameless)
Uma Thurman (Smash)
UMA THURMAN? We find it hard to believe that a large group of people actually sat and watched her on Smash and thought she deserved to be nominated for that performance. We couldn't wait to get her out of there. She was a terrible thing on an already terrible show. The Harry's Law nod seems genius by comparison. Snubbed were almost all of the amazing people on The Good Wife, including Carrie Preston, Amy Sedaris and Parker Posey. We expected to see more them here... and not Uma Thurman.
Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Mark Margolis (Breaking Bad)
Dylan Baker (The Good Wife)
Michael J. Fox (The Good Wife)
Jeremy Davies (Justified)
Ben Feldman (Mad Men)
Jason Ritter (Parenthood)
Someone from Justified got nominated! We're shocked and happy. And while we would have liked to have seen Matthew Perry instead of Michael J. Fox from The Good Wife, we're so happy about Dylan Baker that we'll live with it. And we're also pleased to see Jason Ritter squeeze in here, since Parenthood is practically non-existent as far as the Emmys are concerned.
What did you think of the noms? Sound off below.
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