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Given that it cast Lindsay Lohan of all people as Elizabeth Taylor, there was no way in hell that the Lifetime-produced biopic Liz & Dick -- which chronicled La Liz's turbulent romance with Richard Burton (played by Grant Bowler) -- was going to be any good. Still, even we were impressed by how terrible the finished product turned out to be -- a telefilm lacking the subtlety, grace and nuance of your average Ed Wood production... or even your typical Lifetime movie-of-the-week. (Let's just say that we expect more from the network that gave us My Stepson, My Lover among other classics.) Here are the ten most ridiculous things about this utterly ridiculous waste of two hours:
Hey, remember when Episodes was a behind-the-scenes look at a terrible American sitcom called Pucks? No? That's okay, because the Season 2 finale, which aired last night, barely mentioned the show-within-the-show at all. Instead, personal business overtook the business of show, as the finale wrapped up a few of the season's will-they-or-won't-they storylines (among them, "Will Sean and Bev reconcile"; "Will Carol break up with Merc already"; and "Won't someone please arrest Labia?") while leaving enough threads dangling to weave a third year, should Showtime decide to order one. If it does come back, here's hoping -- and we're probably the only people in the show's version of America wishing this -- there's a lot more Pucks and a lot less partner-swapping.
With one episode of its second season left to go, Episodes brought some of its central relationships to a head last night. Bev and Sean seem permanently splitsville, with him encouraging her to go on a second date with the strapping house painter Rob that goes very well indeed. Meanwhile, Carol mourns her boss/lover Merc's impending (and still unbeknownst to him) firing from his comfy network chair... until she learns that she may be getting his job. Oh, and Matt slept with Labia again before trying one more time to kick her to the curb, but we're still pretending that plot isn't happening.
Last night's Episodes tackled that age-old question: When is it okay to be fat in Hollywood? (Answer: almost never.)
What's one sure-fire way to lure some eyeballs back to your ratings-challenged series? Stunt casting! That's the tack the increasingly desperate Pucks crew takes in Episodes' sixth episode as Matt is tasked with a seemingly easy assignment -- enlist one of his former Friends to appear on his new show. Too bad he's apparently pissed all of them off in the past eight years since the series wrapped...
Remember how we said way back at the beginning of Season 2 that the relationship stuff was the least interesting thing about Episodes? Well, last night's episode reconfirmed that opinion, as the so-dull-nobody-cares affair between Carol and Merc and the slightly-less-dull-but-still-nobody-cares dalliance between Matt and Merc's wife Jamie, drove much of the narrative as the two secret couples conspired to secretly get away for the weekend until an overeager travel agent frelled up their secret plans by booking Merc and Jamie on a Napa vacation. (Clearly, Merc should have booked his defunct Cabo getaway with Carol via Priceline.com. Isn't he supposed to be buddy-buddy with Bill Shatner?) On the upside, this was finally the straw that broke the back of the Carol/Merc alliance and we can only hope she means it when she says she's through with their romance. We were over it a season ago.
After some renegotiation snafus, the adult stars of Modern Family are filing suit to void their contracts. While some may think that without Ty Burrell, Julie Bowen, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sofia Vergara and Ed O'Neill, the show could not exist, we find it easy to imagine Modern Family without the primary parents. In fact, there's many different ways to write around their characters:
After last week's episode, which dealt more with personal business, last night's Episodes got back to the business of show. That's probably why it was one of the stronger outing so far this season as the various relationship dramas were pushed to the backburner and all of the characters were focused on one thing: fixing Pucks.
The bulk of last night's episode of Episodes concerned itself with the passing of network head Merc's father and the fallout that had on Pucks' cast and crew. Specifically, that fallout entailed having to attend the funeral for a man they'd never met and who, according to his son, wasn't even that nice of a guy. Even more problematically, Sean and Bev had to find the proper gift to express their condolences, only to watch all the most thoughtful (and expensive) presents get snapped up by folks with bigger checking accounts than their own.
The Season 2 premiere of Episodes ended with the cast and crew of Pucks learning that the show's pilot had pulled in boffo ratings despite receiving largely terrible reviews from critics. But last night's episode revealed another key Hollywood truth: in television, success can turn to failure within the span of a single week.
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