BLOGS

Recently in Can't They Just Leave Well Enough Alone? Category

Brothers & Sisters, Please Don't Undo The Progress You've Made This Season I've been surprised by how much I've been enjoying this season of Brothers & Sisters so far. No more Tommy, they've listened to the fan outcry and reduced Ryan's role, Kitty's cancer was introduced tastefully and is being dealt with in an emotionally effective way, Kitty and The Senator are, for the most part, finally behaving like adults and being far less stupid than usual about their relationship, The Senator's political blackmail problem has been squashed, and the show is always more hilarious when Sarah's getting laid, so I'm pretty happy.

Glee Meets Buffy: A Melodious Dream or a Musical Mess?

Apparently Joss Whedon has been tapped to direct an episode of Glee. This news should make me deliriously giddy since the "Once More With Feeling" episode of Buffy is pretty much my favorite thing in the world and right now I'm insanely obsessed with Glee. But for some reason, I'm not jumping for joy. I don't think I have a fever, so I'm chalking it up to the fact that I'm worried that while Ryan Murphy's shows have a surreal quality to them and Whedon's sci-fi shows have a humanistic quality to them, the combination of the two sensibilities somehow won't mesh -- like somehow all that goodness together is just going to be terrible. You know how really hot people seem to have ugly kids? It's like that.

It's On With Alexa Chung: What The Hell Happened?

Look, I realize that I am not the target demographic for It's On With Alexa Chung, the MTV talk show. However, I got hooked on its quirkiness over the summer. It had a certain charm about it, I found Alexa's casual air and cool style appealing and I loved learning about all the bands that the kids are listening to these days. So I was decidedly excited about its return today after about a month off, but now I couldn't be more disappointed.

TV-Based Nintendo Wii Games We Want to See

TV shows are being made into video games at an alarming rate, and the unique wand and balance-board controllers of the Nintendo Wii have opened the doors for some innovative new gameplay. For instance, the Wii remote can be used to cut and mix ingredients in the game version Iron Chef America and the balance board brings the Wii's fitness angle to The Biggest Loser. Now we're hearing that the board will be used to let you walk down the runway in the game version of Project Runway, and we can only imagine that the wand will be used to sew, drape or hurl things at the other designers. Here are some Wii games we'd like to see based on our favorite shows -- some of which are already in the works.

Heathers: The TV Series (Don't Do It)

It was announced recently that some geniuses at Fox and Sony Pictures TV decided that it was about time to turn Heathers into a TV series, since everything else is being redone already. My knee-jerk reaction was that this was a horrible idea (and made me shout "fuck me gently with a chainsaw!" at my computer) but I decided in fairness that I would rewatch this iconic film from my youth yet again to see how they could possibly transform it into a weekly television show. Maybe it was outdated and ready for an reboot. But now that I have, I still think it is a terrible idea, unless they can get Tina Fey or Ryan Murphy to do it. Which they haven't.

The Teen Choice Awards, aka The Miley Cyrus Twilight Program, with Special Guests the Jonas Brothers The Jonas Brothers may have hosted the show, but I swear Miley Cyrus was on stage more than anybody, even Robert Pattinson. Accepting awards, lightly pole dancing, "honoring" her "hero" Britney, lip-synching to somebody's plugged-in iPod (how is it possible to sound so bad while lip-synching? My vocal cords hurt for her), blessing us like the teen pope she is, talking to that mop-headed micromachine fast-talking guy, selling us Max Azria for Wal-Mart and on and on and on. Why bother even having somebody else host it? They should have just made Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, Chace Crawford and the JoBros line up on stage while Miley went down the row and sang, "Look at this guy!" over and over at them for two hours. It would have been much more efficient, yet still exactly the same show.

TWoP 10: The Lamest Reality TV Twists

Big Brother started last night, and while we're more than a little bit excited about it, we're slightly skeptical about what twists might lie ahead for us. Big Brother has done us wrong many a time before, so we're worried that this "clique" theme might be a dud. The contestants were selected because they were either popular kids, brainiacs or outcasts or jocks and they'll have to play in their respective teams. Great, it's just like high school all over again. Plus, bringing back a former contestant as the 13th contestant? And that person is Jessie? We're consoling ourselves with the fact that he'll probably be out of the mix in a heartbeat because who'd be silly enough to keep a known quantity around? Anyway, it got us thinking about some other twists on reality shows that turned out to be big old duds.

Great American Road Trip: Even More Terrible Than The Amazing Race: Family Edition

Honestly, I didn't think it could (or should) be done, but someone finally found a way to make the most appalling season of The Amazing Race look halfway decent. So thank you, Great American Road Trip, you've fallen well below the very, very low bar I had set for competitive reality programming. Seriously, I watched Superstars AND America's Got Talent last night and this show was worse than both of them combined, and I pretty much hate both of those shows.

Let's Just Go With It: Future Congresswoman Danielle Staub's Campaign Platforms The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub might run for Congress, everybody! That is such a good idea! Though it is kind of bittersweet, because it looks like all her dirt has already been dug up. So backwards -- that's supposed to happen once you're already in office, lady! But no matter. She's going to be a fantastic representative of fine politics for me to poop on. Let's take a gander at all the urgent things she will promise to take care of for the citizens of New Jersey when she runs.

Grey's Anatomy: What The Hell Are They Thinking?

First, if you don't want to know who lived/died on that annoyingly sappy show Grey's Anatomy at the end of last season, stop reading this post now. If you couldn't care less and are bloodthirsty, like me, and were hoping that there'd be a mass explosion and only Cristina, Hunt and Bailey somehow survived... well, read on. The death toll isn't nearly that exciting, but I'll take what I can get.

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