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The Telefile
<i>Lost</i>: What Sawyer & Co. Have Been Up To All This Time

On the March 4 episode of Lost, we'll see what Sawyer, Jin, Juliet and the rest of the castaways have been up to since they stopped time-traveling and started playing Dharma Initiative. Were they really there for three actual years? At the very least, they must have been there long enough for Jin to get in the habit of rolling up on unwanted visitors in his pimpin' van and pulling a gat on them. Here's what we think's been going on down in Sawyerville since Locke made a deal and spun the wheel.

- Sawyer has opened a bar called "Freckles" and a rib joint called "Hurley's."

- Using his skills from his two previous occupations -- enforcer and fisherman -- Jin has established himself as the island's most notorious loan shark. Unfortunately, all he loans out are delicious mako sharks.

- The Others now prefer to be called "The Sweathogs."

- Daniel Faraday was hanging a clock in his bathroom when his feet slipped on the wet porcelain and he hit his head on the edge of the sink. When he came to, he had the idea to build a flux capacitor, which is what makes time travel possible. He is currently trying to build a DeLorean out of bamboo.

- Walt's mental projection of himself is now 27 feet tall.

- Juliet has started her own book club, where they read a different Stephen King book every month, and anybody who doesn't like it can go suck eggs.

- Miles has also started a book club, but his is for all of the ghosts on the island. Also, they only read the novels of Dean Koontz.

- The smoke monster has developed a hacking cough, which everyone says it should get checked out, "just in case."

- With Locke gone, Richard Alpert has been elected mayor of the island, but now he has been targeted for death by the sociopath known only as "The Joker."

- For some reason, everyone has grown an extra toe.

What do you think has been going on, besides Sawyer and Juliet doing the horizontal mambo?

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