I swear, Angel goes on vacation for three lousy days and look what happens! In case you're afraid of links, let me just tell you that tragedy has struck: Two undisclosed So You Think You Can Dance contestants collapsed in rehearsal Saturday and were rushed to the hospital suffering from severe exhaustion and dehydration! OK, just... calm down. Take a deep breath, pour yourself a tall glass of Mint Julep and drink the pain away because they're alright now, and Thursday's finale is still on! Hooray for emergency fluids!

I know, every network has its own dance show and you're sick of it! I'm with you; I can't handle another elimination-based dance show. However, I am hooked on TLC's new dance show, where there is no elimination, no winner and no dance crews. Each week, choreographers Tabitha and Napoleon (who have hit the dance show trifecta by also doing choreography this season for America's Best Dance Crew and judging on So You Think You Can Dance) teach two couples their first dance as husband and wife.

I realize that just yesterday I said that I couldn't see myself getting into any more dance shows because the TV is so oversaturated with them at the moment... but then I saw that Chris Brown is getting his sexy smooth groove on and I might have changed my mind. It happens. Chris Brown is teaming up with Mark Burnett (reality show mastermind/guy who basically knows how to print money) and J.D. Roth (producer of Biggest Loser and host of that creepy show where they all had to live underground in a bunker) and basically the show will be You Got Served... please, oh, please let Shane Sparks be judging. That would just make me so freakin' happy. Even happier than the mere prospect that I get to stare at Chris Brown for an hour a week.

The Dancing With the Stars producers have gone from being absolutely nowhere on my radar to the very top of my shit list all in the span of one gossip item. You see, these no-taste-having bastards have rejected the incomparable Dick Smothers from participating in their dog and pony show not once, not twice, but three times! Three times! They obviously don't know talent when it rings thrice.

My husband is really going to think I am a witch now. Though I'm guessing if any supernatural powers were at work with this one, they would have been generated from one Mia Michaels. Anyway, I've been hoping that Jessica would suddenly and miraculously just disappear from So You Think You Can Dance (Mia just made scary mean comments about how she was dragging Will down), and now she has. According to Fox, Jessica has left the competition because of an injury. The details are vague, though apparently it is on the advice of her doctors that she not continue, but producer/judge/ax man Nigel Lythgoe promises that Jessica (aka, the Mare-maid here in the TWoP offices) will have a chance to tell America what happened on Wednesday night's show. In other related news, Comfort is back. Though that's really got to suck for her. On the one hand she's got a second chance and can maybe wow America and the judges (however unlikely that may be). But on the other hand it is like, "Oh, you got eliminated, we showed your highlight package, you got your hug from Cat and now you're back and presumably have to dance with the amazing dance god that is Will (and have you seen his abs)"? Yeah, I feel for you Comf. Here's hoping you at least you pull hip-hop out of the hat.

In the world of dancing competitions shows So You Think You Can Dance is my first love, but America's Best Dance Crew is moving up and finishing a close second lately. The thing that I enjoy about both of them? Aside from the fact that they both involve Shane Sparks... is that they expect their people to be talented and rise to challenges, unlike say Dancing With the Stars where the celebrities need to be coddled until they are passable, or Master of Dance where the talentless are celebrated for merely being able to shake their ass to the tune of the music. On my favorite shows nobody contenders become household names by seriously tearing up the dance floor.

Summertime. The time when reality TV rules the land, with only reruns and a scarce few scripted dramas to break up the onslaught of wannabes desperately grasping their 15 minutes of fame. Yes, we just got scripted television back, but don't get too attached. Instead, you'll be subjected (if you choose to stay inside and watch television) to the latest addition to the juggernaut that is High School Musical. The inevitable reality series High School Musical: Summer Session is casting now, with drama kings and queens from all over the country hoping to either be the next Zac Efron or Ashley Tisdale. Why do I think -- based on experiences with my high school drama club and the non-existent careers that the "stars" or our big spring musicals have had since then -- that this is pretty freakin' unlikely? Anyway, I do like Nick Lachey who hosted one of my winter guilty pleasures Clash of the Choirs (I know... I'm so ashamed, OK?). The former Newlywed (see it could be worse... it could have been the other one) will be encouraging teens to live their dreams and will probably have to suffer through more versions of "Breaking Free" than any one person should ever have to hear. This show could be bubbly and cute and a hit with the youngsters (and i'm ashamed to admit, me), or it could be as awful and insufferable as last summer's Grease: You're the One That I Want debacle. I knew one of the finalists of that show and still could barely stomach it. Worse still... the actual production with the winners that is on Broadway now. Pain-ful. But I digress, the winner of HSM:SS will recieve some very ambiguous prize described as a chance to become "part of High School Musical history." Which I take to mean that if the series is a flop, they'll get to be an extra at a party or whatnot in one of the upcoming installments.