Madonna has opened her catalog to the show Glee (let's face it, the woman likes money!), which provides a whole new world of songs for the cast to perform. While the first announced tune is Quinn doing "Papa Don't Preach" (because who better to sing a song about teenage pregnancy than the knocked-up cheerleader), it inspired us to think of our dream tunes for each of the show's stars.
"This Used to Be My Playground"
Performed by: Will Schuester
Let's save this one for when Will finally gets a brain in his head and breaks up with Terri, or at the very least when he finds out about her lies. Then he can walk around the high school halls where they met and lament how his life went wrong. Plus: it will keep him from trying to rap and/or dance.
"Who's That Girl"
Performed by: Santana and Brittany
These little-utilized peppy Cheerios just sit in the back of the choir and perform dance moves and try and stay out of the fray. Let's give them a duet celebrating their mysterious natures.
Performed by: Kurt
There is no one at the school more obsessed with high-end fashion and material goods than Kurt, so this is just about the most perfect song for him. And if he wants to wear diamonds and a hot pink dress on stage, more power to him.
"Justify My Love"
Performed by: Emma
A song about a woman brooding about the man she can't have because he's committed to someone else, while she sits by longingly waiting for him to realize that he's in love with her? Yeah, that fits Emma to a tee.
"Sooner or Later"
Performed by: Sue
This melancholy Oscar-nominated love song was inspired by Dick Tracy and we'd love another chance to see Sue in her Zoot suit.
Performed by: Mercedes
There are few Madonna songs that would allow Mercedes to really show off her range with, but there are some possibilities in this one if the show's clever musical directors can do a good job with the arrangements. It might be the perfect song for her to sing to Kurt when his first boyfriend doesn't give him the adoration he deserves.
Performed by: Artie
A song about a dance that primarily requires moving your upper body is tailor-made for Artie. And he could sing it while surrounded by the girls in bustiers, since he deserves some female attention. Can you say sweeps, people?
Performed by: Finn He's emotionally unstable trying to balance his demanding pregnant girlfriend (who is having someone else's baby), his feelings for Rachel, his monetary issues, school, football, glee club, etc. Something's going to have to give and we're guessing it'll involve Quinn pushing him to the borderline where he's going to lose his mind.
Performed by: Puck
This song is so heartbreaking, which makes it the perfect tune for the beautiful Puck to sing to Quinn. She insists that he's not the kind of man she needs -- well, this might prove her wrong. We're getting chills just thinking about his quiet acoustic version.
"Like a Virgin"
Performed by: Ken Tanaka
Since alleged virgin Quinn's already working "Papa Don't Preach." we'd like to give this one to Ken. If he ever gets Emma to hold hands or -- god forbid -- kiss him, that'll be an occasion for this lovelorn gym teacher with no toenails to break out into a sexy song. After all that pent-up energy, any physical contact would probably feel like the first time to him.
"Like a Prayer"
Performed by: Rachel
Picture it: Rachel wants the crew to win the state championships (presuming they make it that far) and decides some help from above is what's needed. So she sits praying in front of a giant Jewish star (fire is optional) with the entire choir backing her. That'd be awesome.
Just please, Ryan Murphy, nothing from the Erotica album, okay? This is a high school after all.
MOST RECENT POSTS