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Other Reality Stars Who Should Have Apps

Recently, Jersey Shore star Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's iPhone app became a bestseller in the iTunes store. The app offers buyers a "GTL" finder for gyms, tanning salons and laundromats, a workout routine to get your own situation happening, a video game where you have to dodge grenades and some of Mike's most memorable quotes. The app also allows you to email Sitch himself. With all of those features, it's no wonder so many people are willing to shell out $4.99 of their hard-earned gelato shop cash. In light of this perhaps unexpected success, we have a few suggestions for how other celebrities can similarly expand their brands into the digital realm:

Jennifer Lopez's Real Diva Demands for Idol

There are reports that in order to get her to judge American Idol next season, Jennifer Lopez had a laundry list of demands that went far beyond a hefty sum of cash. The latest news is that she may be getting $12 million -- a tidy chunk of change for sitting on her butt and telling people that they are pitchy for a few months -- but not the deal to do more Fox shows and movies that she supposedly wanted. Nor, we're guessing, does her contract include any of the below provisions that she may have been tempted to ask for:

How Did Real Steel Lure Evangeline Lilly Out of Retirement?

Hey, remember a few months ago, when Lost star Evangeline Lilly said she was going to retire from acting after the show ended, and that she wanted to "have some quiet space," "drop off the radar" and "enjoy a little bit of normalcy" before she got a job behind-the-scenes? Well, forget it. Lilly has taken a role in the Hugh Jackman movie Real Steel, about the futuristic sport of robot boxing, which means she is back in front of the camera again. Was it the allure of fame, or was it simply that the producers knew her price? We got a peek at her contract, and some of her demands are pretty specific. Here's a brief list of things that she was promised if she took the role.

The SNL Premiere, or 'The New Lady Swore! The New Lady Swore!' So Jenny Slate said the F-word in her first episode, during a sketch about biker chicks who say "Frickin'" constantly. OK! I can see how that would happen. And the sketch aired at about the 12:40 AM mark of the episode, so I'm pretty sure no truly innocent children were too corrupted by it. NBC will probably be fined, because those are the rules, but clearly, the poor girl won't be fired. Her gaffe alone entered a lackluster premiere heavily into today's news cycle, and besides, I've seen her perform, and she has a lot to offer. I think she'll be alright.

The Joan Rivers Roast: The Best One-Liners You know how comedians always say that when they're around each other they have to pull out the most offensive material possible to make each other laugh? I guess these roasts are a televised example of that. And though last night may have been officially a roast of Joan Rivers, Robin Quivers got it the worst, hands down. I didn't include the trillions of jokes made about her father molesting her below, but holy crap! So many jokes about her father molesting her! Yikes!

Lost Finale: The Five Parts That Sucked

Okay, so last night's Lost season finale -- the last episode before the big endgame starts in 2010 -- was pretty crazy. Jacob showed up, as did Bernard and Rose... even Vincent the dog! But it had a lot of stuff going on, and not all of it was good. In fact, some of it was annoying as hell, so we thought we'd run down the five things that annoyed us the most. Obviously, this is going to be a very spoilery discussion, so if you haven't seen the episode yet, by all means do not read any further, unless you're looking for a reason to be angry with us.

Today's TWoP News: April 28, 2009

If it's Tuesday, this must be TWoP News! There's a lot of moving and shaking going on this week, as shows change timeslots (or defiantly don't), shows get canceled (or surprisingly don't), and showrunners leave shows (that don't even have names yet). Also, someone is injuring our nation's celebrities, and it may be Michael Flatley. Let's begin!

And Now for The Supporting Characters We Hate Right Now After my list of supporting characters I love last week, I was worried I was putting way too much positivity into the world. We can't have that, so here is the flipside! These are the current (current! Don't yell at me in the comments for excluding cancelled and/or already fired people!) scripted and reality characters who are a detriment to their shows, and oh, how we hate them for it.

Five Reasons American Idol Judges Are Nonsensical Hacks UGH! I could just about kill the judges on American Idol sometimes. Last night was almost unbearable in its utter stinkdom and proved to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that these people are effing hacks who know nothing about music. I might be the last person on Earth to discover this, and if you were planning to point that out to me, just shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. In an effort to apply the valuable lessons I've been learning in reading my bedside tome, Anger Management for Dummies, I'm going to attempt to put forth some clear, concise and well-reasoned issues I had with the things uttered by these fools last night so as to avoid blowing a damned gasket and having a spontaneous brain aneurysm from sheer rage. Bear with me.

Hosea is Top Chef? What in the Hades? So the Top Chef finale happened last night and the only word I can use to describe my feelings on the matter is: gobsmacked. Everyone I know was pulling for Carla (and the Fan Favorite poll supported this fact), but most of the peeps I talked to had it pretty much locked down that Stefan was gonna end up with the gold. Did the producers simply do a bait-and-switch for the element of suspense/surprise? I just don't get it. To my mind, Hosea got into the top three by some weird trickery or voodoo, and by the skin of his big ol' chompers at that. What I'm sayin' is, when it was announced that he got top honors, I just about peed my pants. He sooo doesn't deserve this. And here's why:

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