Recently in Follies Of The Overrated Category
After my list of supporting characters I love last week
, I was worried I was putting way too much positivity into the world. We can't have that, so here is the flipside! These are the current (current! Don't yell at me in the comments for excluding cancelled and/or already fired people!) scripted and reality characters who are a detriment to their shows, and oh, how we hate them for it.
UGH! I could just about kill
the judges on American Idol
sometimes. Last night was almost unbearable in its utter stinkdom and proved to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that these people are effing hacks
who know nothing about music. I might be the last person on Earth to discover this, and if you were planning to point that out to me, just shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. In an effort to apply the valuable lessons I've been learning in reading my bedside tome, Anger Management for Dummies
, I'm going to attempt to put forth some clear, concise and well-reasoned issues I had with the things uttered by these fools last night so as to avoid blowing a damned gasket and having a spontaneous brain aneurysm from sheer rage. Bear with me.
So the Top Chef
finale happened last night and the only word I can use to describe my feelings on the matter is: gobsmacked. Everyone I know was pulling for Carla
(and the Fan Favorite poll supported this fact), but most of the peeps I talked to had it pretty much locked down that Stefan was gonna end up with the gold. Did the producers simply do a bait-and-switch for the element of suspense/surprise? I just don't get it. To my mind, Hosea got into the top three by some weird trickery or voodoo, and by the skin of his big ol' chompers at that. What I'm sayin' is, when it was announced that he got top honors, I just about peed my pants. He sooo doesn't deserve this. And here's why:
To be completely honest, I haven't watched The Real World
since around the time Trishelle came on the scene, and it's for the reasons that a lot of people love the show: too much trashy drunken sluttiness and stupidity run amok. It's for this very reason that the first episode of the new season, set in Red Hook, Brooklyn appealed to me and gave me hope that the show is trying to return to its quasi-relevant, less Girls Gone Wild
The answer to that question should be a resounding no. If the question was "Can you feel the desperation of nine guys who really want to be rich and famous without having actually any skill aside from kissing ass?" then the answer would be yes. The "star" of this "show" is Brody Jenner, who is pretty much famous for having a famous dad and using that to leverage his way into reality TV "stardom." Though his official bio on the MTV site would have you think differently: "Nominated for a 2008 Teen Choice Award for his role on The Hills, Brody Jenner is more than just a handsome face; he's a talented entertainer, a budding entrepreneur and a lover of all things luxurious." OK then.
My lovely boss Angel
asked me to sit in on a conference call with Ryan Seacrest on the eve of his latest reality show offering, Momma's Boys
. Doubtless you've already been bombarded by the show's promos but for the uninitiated, it's sort of a dysfunctional spin on the traditional reality dating show -- three guys who are
inordinately attached to and reliant on their moms are searching for love amongst the usual mansion-full of good girls, aspiring singers, ex-cons and Penthouse Playmates. The spin is that their moms are along for the ride, helping weed out the gold-diggers and totally c*&k-blocking their sons when they try to get sexay with the aforementioned "ladies" in the hot tub.
If there was any doubt as to whether Seth Rogen likes porn
, it can be put to rest now that the word is out
that he's developing a porn-centric show for Showtime. I get that all dudes look at porn, and that their predilections are often mined for comedic value, but it's one thing to make a joke or two at your own expense and another to build a career on your wanking tendencies.
Ruh roh! The bell is about to toll
for Lipstick Jungle
. Or so says an anonymous NBC exec, who intimates that the CBS show Numb3rs
, which shares the same Friday night time slot, is murdering LJ
ratings-wise. Is it because the target demo (upwardly mobile gays and ladies in their mid-thirties to fifties) are out getting their Cosmos on during LP
's 10 PM Friday slot while all the Mathletes sit at home watching Numb3rs
and playing WoW?
There have always been two kinds of supernatural shows on TV: those that were trying to be funny, like I Dream of Jeannie and Big Wolf on Campus, and those that were trying to be scary, like The Twilight Zone and Friday the 13th: The Series. Some straddled the line, managing both with equal skill, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Supernatural manages to be pretty scary most of the time, but many shows have aimed for scary and fallen horribly short. Here are a few of the most egregious examples.
, Blood Ties
, Dark Shadows
, Forever Knight
, Ghost Whisperer
, Swamp Thing
, The Night Stalker
, The Others
If Denise Richards fabricating a story
about how her assy reality show It's Complicated is getting picked up for another season
has taught me one thing, it's to not trust what dumdum plastic surgery victims/"actresses" say about goings-on in the TV industry. Chances are, they're hoping people will accuse them of merely being confused rather than outright lying, and then realize, hey! That's not such a bad idea, what she said! Maybe we should
renew that crappy show no one watched! With that said, I'm taking what Lisa Rinna has said about rumblings of a Melrose Place remake
with a grain of Restalyne. I know she's hard up for work now that she's exhausted her second
fifteen minutes as the token cougar on Dancing With the Stars
, but let's not even put a bug in the CW's ear, OK? It's not fair to anyone.