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<i>Game of Thrones</i>: Our Weekly Westeros Scorecard

Bravo for Brienne and other superlatives from Game of Thrones's third episode, "What Is Dead May Never Die."

Best New Character: The coolest gal around and the baddest knight in town (well, in Renly's camp anyway), Brienne of Tarth. After handily winning her beachside duel with Renly's loverboy (and brother-in-law), Loras Tyrell, this giantess in shining armor asks for and deservedly receives membership in Renly's Kingsguard.

Dreamiest Dude: Bran, who is starting to realize that his nighttime visions may be more than just especially vivid dreams. Runner-Up: Renly, who is infinitely handsomer than either of his brothers (especially the dead one) and seems like a much nicer guy to boot. We'd vote for him as king... not that you actually get a vote in a monarchy, of course.

Most Profound Hodor Thought: "Hodor!"

Most Awkward Family Dinner: Cersei and her two youngest kids breaking bread with poor Sansa, as they discuss her family's future (or lack thereof) and she's forced to toe the Lannister party line.

Least Erotic Sex Scene: Renly lamely tries to get it up for his new wife, Margaery, blaming his lack of arousal on all the wine he's quaffed. "Do you want my brother to come in and help?" she asks, not fooled for a minute about whom he truly desires and refreshingly cool (or at least realpolitik) about it all.

Biggest Weasel: Theon, who betrays the Starks -- specifically his "brother" and friend Robb -- and returns to the Greyjoy fold.

Meanest Put-Down: "The Sea Bitch. We thought she'd be perfect for you." -- Yara to Theon, informing him which ship he'll be sailing when the Greyjoys attack the North.

Most Bad-Ass Tyrion Moment: The Acting Hand of the King reveals three different sets of "secret plans" to three different members of the King's small council to see which of them goes running to Cersei. Turns out the rat is Grand Maester Pycelle (no shock there), whom Tyrion literally catches with his pants down and exiles to one of the black cells.

Cruelest Death: After his leg is wounded in the skirmish with Joffrey's knights, young Lommy Greenhands -- one of Arya's traveling companions -- asks to be carried and ends up getting her sword Needle stuck through his throat.

Episode MVP: Arya for saving the Gendry's life by telling the soldiers that poor dead Lommy was the man they were after.

Most Memorable Lines:
"You were a fat little boy, too, but I recognized you." -- Yara to Theon, after he complained that he couldn't have known she was his sister before he started feeling her up, because she looked like a fat little boy when Ned Stark took him.
"Every man who has tasted my cooking has told me what a good whore I am" -- Shae, rejecting Tyrion's plan to bring her into the castle via a job in the kitchens.
"'The Queen mustn't know.' I love conversations that begin this way." -- Varys, just before Tyrion reveals the fake-secret plan meant for his ears.
"Save your lies for court. You're going to need a lot of them." -- Margaery to Renly, offering one of the truest summations of life as a king ever uttered.
"Oy! There's men out there that want to fuck your corpses. Outside, now!" -- Yoren, rousing the members of his wagon train to the Wall to fight the Joffrey's soldiers.

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