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Veronica Mars: Action Hero

All right, I may have lured you in under some false pretenses. There will never, ever be Veronica Mars action figures. There are a few busts of Veronica and Logan Echolls, but manufacturing action figures is far too expensive a process for the few thousand they would likely sell. Heroes, on the other hand, is still on the air -- and still pretty popular, despite last season's meanderings -- which means the action figures are coming fast and furious. Hmm... What Veronica Mars cast member is on Heroes now? Let me think...

As a long time Kristin Chenoweth hater, it is with great anguish that I type this next sentence: Kristin Chenoweth's musical parody of A&E's Intervention over at Funny or Die is not only not annoying, it's also actually pretty funny, even though she's starring in it and singing a song with that elf soprano voice of hers. But then again, who isn't wildly entertaining while singing about gay prostitutes who find their johns through Craig's List to score meth? (Tip to all the hookers out there: Finding your john through Craig's List erases the need for an abusive, money-stealing pimp. Don't ask me how I know, I just know.) Delightful musical clip after the jump, Broadway and meth junkies!

Listen, webisodes are something that's been happening a lot lately, and I think we should all just get used to them. They're not going away any time soon, and while some of them may be terrible (The Heroes ones), others are actually pretty good (The Office ones). One web-only/minisode-only series I've come across that doesn't suck too bad is Gemini Division, which stars Rosario Dawson as a cop whose gay boyfriend's pacemaker programs him to kill. At least that's what I gathered from the first installment, which was released today. I could be proven wrong in subsequent episodes. It also may or may not be set in the future -- everyone in it wears current clothing (translation: no pointy shoulders or floor length robes, which defies Hollywood's strict vision of future fashion), but Dawson's character uses this webcam technology with all kinds of coding and activity on the sides like in The Matrix, so yeah, most likely the future. And to my knowledge, pacemakers do not currently program people to kill... yet, so there's another argument for the future setting.

Cute Overload: A Turniphead Reunion Awww. The 16 tiny tots who played Aaron on Lost last season got together for a little reunion/picnic. I initially thought this was adorable, but then I got to thinking about what probably really went down: The now-unemployed toddlers sat around in the hot Hawaiian sun in black t-shirts that all said "baby Aaron," lamenting the fact that they now are too fat and old for their short-lived careers on TV. I'm sure the parents sat around contemplating other ways to pimp out their pre-verbal children without moving off the island. (Apparently one lucky lightweight baby was able to earn a return appearance in season five.) And I'm sitting here wondering: if you are on a TV show before you really know what is happening to you, can you still be considered a child star? Will Baby Aaron #5 be destined for a breakdown, blaming her parents for the fact that she's having a gender crisis because she was forced to play a boy when she was an infant? One can only hope. Anyway, if you live in the Honolulu area, first of all I kind of hate you right now as I sit here in overcast New York, and secondly if you happen to have a blonde-haired, blue eyed kid who you'd like to see get eaten by a smoke monster, they are now accepting applications.
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Brenda Walsh Is Back and Byte Sized

I'm usually not one to get excited about special edition iPods, unless they are a really amazing color and then I'm tempted, but then I remember that I end up buying them and they are obsolete like a year later so don't spend my money on one that may still be cool and of my favorite band or whatever just to have it fall by the wayside when they invent a 160G one that holds entire libraries of CDs and all my videos and does my laundry too.

With that in mind, I'm still kind of tempted to get this Beverly Hills, 90210 Nano. At first I thought this was just a cheap ploy to get me to watch the new 90210 but when I saw it was old school 90210 I got excited. They are a bit more costly than your everyday ordinary iPods, but do your every day ordinary iPods have Brenda Walsh and Dylan McKay on them? I think not. Plus, you can get it engraved with things, which is nice if you wanted to give it as a gift. Like, "To the second biggest bitch ever" or "Peach Pit Forever" or something along those lines.

Buffy Fights for Europe

The good news: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is getting a new video game for the Nintendo DS. The bad news: right now it's only going to be available in Europe. The weird news: A TV show that went off the air over five years ago is getting a video game release on a major handheld system, and not even in its country of origin. Can they do that?

Stuntcasting Strikes Again Like it or not, as long as networks will never be satisfied with having a modest but decent enough audience for a series, stuntcasting will always be with us. So like it or not, Christina Ricci will appear in three upcoming Saving Grace episodes this season. I don't really understand why, of all the shows in the world, Ricci chose that one to guest on, considering she's pretty famous and could probably get a spot on a much bigger show, but maybe she's a fan. And working with Holly Hunter is nothing to sneeze at, so that may be the reason as well.

Shows That Are Crying Out for Minisodes

Or webisodes... I'm not picky I'll take either. Between the strike and the normal summer hiatus, we've been chomping at the bit to see any little glimpse of our favorite shows. The Office, Heroes and Rescue Me have responded by giving us minisodes and webisodes to hold us over and keep our interest until they finally return. Here's our list of other shows currently on hiatus that should do the same... and stat.

Today the first Heroes Webisode premiered on NBC's website, and it's about a mailman. Excited yet? Well, what if I told you that this mailman could yell really loud -- so loud that dogs don't want to mess with him and shadowy government organizations do want to mess with him? And that said organization dispatches some sort of snake man, who looks like the Conundrum from The X-Files if he had all of his tattoos removed, along with most of his skin's pigmentation? Now you're interested.

I was one of the lucky people (depending on your perspective) who actually got to see Ian McKellen live in King Lear last year. It was a fine production, highlighted by the fact that Magneto drops trou (well actually he doesn't drop it, he more like pulls off his nightshirty costume over his head in a fit). It got quite a bit of attention at the time and it's run at BAM (The Brooklyn Academy of Music) was sold out. I actually had to go to one of the boroughs in order to see a very long play.

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