The MTV Movie Awards were a horror show of blatant corporate shills, awkward new stars shying away from the spotlight and sad, fading ones desperately grasping for it (J.Lo and Xtina -- you poor girls), but brush all that human tragedy aside and you get the real prize: the first ten minutes of Jersey Shore Season 2! Now, please, stop pretending you hate Jersey Shore. No one believes you. With that said, let's review the cast's finest quotes and hope they didn't blow all the good stuff on the preview.

Teen Mom turned out to be a pretty great show. We've all got our own opinions about Maci, Amber, Catelynn, and Farrah, but between last night's "Unseen Moments" and last week's finale special, I think we can all agree on one thing: Dr. Drew Pinsky had no business hosting the episodes.

Halloween is a special time in TV land, where shows go crazy with spooky, scary theme episodes unencumbered by the heartwarming tinge required of Christmas episodes. No, Halloween episodes tend to just be fun departures, and we're generally big fans of them. This year, Castle kicked off the week's festivities with last night's awesome, Firefly-referencing episode, and upcoming previews show 30 Rock and The Office getting into the game later this week as well. So, in honor of all the Halloween excitement on TV right now, we thought we'd look back at our ten favorite Halloween episodes of years past.

So the all-new-all-different Project Runway Season Six premiered last night in its new home on Lifetime, and aside from the new setting in Los Angeles, it really wasn't that different. Which would have been fine, it's still an entertaining show, except it was sandwiched between an additional two and a half hours of Runway -- a two-hour All-Star Challenge and a half-hour spin-off, Models of the Runway. I know we've all been missing the show, and under normal circumstances I would have been happy to get three hours of it, but when it feels like you're watching the same episode over and over again, it gets a little old.

There's been a lot of speculation over which Housewife would sign on for the third season of the Real Housewives of New York City ever since Bravo held a casting call in search for other Manhattan ladies. And much to everyone's dismay (including my own), Kelly Bensimon, who is also arguably the most hated and obnoxious Housewife, was the first to sign on despite the show having "ruined her life." Then, after hearing rumors that Bethenny Frankel landed a show of her own and would not return to the series, I had almost given up all hope for the next season. What's a show without Kelly and her archenemy Bethenny? So, you can imagine my excitement when Bethenny announced that she is "definitely" returning to the Real Housewives.

Which is a good thing. Last night's Tonight Show premiere was pretty much just a solid Late Night episode on a bigger, much prettier stage, which means it's finally safe to believe that Conan will not transform into some unrecognizable hack just because he's on an hour earlier. Plus, Andy's back! And the decision to keep him off the couch for this show was a smart one -- sometimes it did get awkward with him having nothing to do on the end of that couch back in the day. Let's examine the good and bad parts in bullet list detail.

I think so. I hesitate to suggest that Paula Abdul is the mastermind of anything, even something as simple as picking out a song, but the judges' picks last night seem suspect to me. It's crazy that out of all the songs in the world to choose from, Adam got to sing a U2 anthem literally (literally!) everyone on the planet knows backwards and forwards, Kris got to sing one of last year's biggest, most widely played hits, and Gokey got stuck with "Dance Little Sister" by Terence Trent D'Arby -- a forgettable song I've honestly never even heard of. Maybe it's the biggest song in the history of music, I don't know. I do know that I'm a huge music fan and a devout follower of all things pop and I had never heard it before.

Is it wrong of me to want a witty president? I would have liked Bush a lot better if he was witty. Heck, even though he wasn't witty, I would have tuned in to The Tonight Show to watch him attempt to banter with Jay Leno. (...Okay, maybe not Leno. But Conan O'Brien? Or Craig Ferguson? Absolutely.) So why has no seated president ever appeared on The Tonight Show before now? It seems like a much better way to boost your ratings than by pre-empting everyone's favorite TV shows with some boring old speech. Plus, I don't think I remember a State of the Union address where the President made an American Idol reference (at the 2:15 mark). Obama gets a bunch of laughs -- more than Leno does, usually -- with routines on the overprotective Secret Service (1:19), whether people let him win at basketball (21:45), and his beginner's bowling score, which he calls "Special Olympics" (20:51). Hope that one doesn't come back to bite him on the ass. (Too late!) Check out the clip below.

What did you think of Obama's appearance? Should he make the late-night rounds? Cast your vote below.

Another year, another bonkers America's Next Top Model premiere. I'd love to sit here and itemize every single batshit thing that happened on last night's two-effing-hour crazyfest, but we'd be here until the year 2752 and my supply of Eternal Life-giving Zima is dwindling by the day. Instead I've chosen to highlight fourt revelatory incidents from the incredibly long Cycle 12 debut and make predictions as to the long-term ramifications of these happenings so as to warn sensitive viewers about the potentially scary developments that this season has in store. Z snaps!

UGH! I could just about kill the judges on American Idol sometimes. Last night was almost unbearable in its utter stinkdom and proved to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that these people are effing hacks who know nothing about music. I might be the last person on Earth to discover this, and if you were planning to point that out to me, just shhhhhhhhhhhhhh. In an effort to apply the valuable lessons I've been learning in reading my bedside tome, Anger Management for Dummies, I'm going to attempt to put forth some clear, concise and well-reasoned issues I had with the things uttered by these fools last night so as to avoid blowing a damned gasket and having a spontaneous brain aneurysm from sheer rage. Bear with me.