Last week, America granted entry to three more finalists to round out American Idol's top twelve, and just like they did with the first three, Fox gave us a chance to hound the most recent additions to the VIP club via a Very Special Conference Call, this time featuring Allison Iraheta, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. Startling truths were revealed (Allison would name her Sasha Fierce incarnation Wild Blah! Adam's first theater role was Linus in You're a Good Man Charlie Brown! Kris Allen is as hot as he is boring!) But to quote Levar Burton, you don't have to take my word for it! Here are all the scintillating highlights of my telephone chat with the most recent gaggle of finalists. For your eyes only!

We're officially past the half-way mark for the maiden season of The City (does this show ever friggin' end?) and I'm still not convinced I give a French flip about our protagonist Whitney Port. Seems to me her only real function is to wear hideous outfits and stare blankly at her vastly more interesting friends, enemies, lovers, employers and cohorts. The problem with Whitney as I see it is that she seems like a relatively functional, stable human, and therein lies the reason she's so goddamned boring to watch. When someone crosses her, she doesn't freak out and smack a bitch. She doesn't plot revenge or cry 'til the mascara streams down her face. She calmly and maturely deals with it like a normal person. And I don't care how many porn shots of the good life in New York City the producers splice into this show, that makes for some dull-ass TV. Her cracked crew of friends and associates are all sorts of flawed, and that's why I'm proposing a handful of spin-offs that I'm hoping MTV will create so I don't have to look at Whitney's zombie stare anymore.

In what's shaping up to be the biggest talk-show shake-up since David Letterman left NBC, Saturday Night Live alum Jimmy Fallon is taking over Late Night from Conan O'Brien, as Conan goes to The Tonight Show and Leno goes to prime time. The movie star's first night is Monday, March 2, with guests Robert De Niro and Van Morrison, and he's filled out the week with old friends like Drew Barrymore and Tina Fey. TWoP sat in on a conference call with Fallon as he opened up about the show's interactivity, his acclaimed house band The Roots and why Shirtless Joe Jackson and Awkward Silence Bear are going to be the next big characters of Late Night.

The Top Chef finale, or as I like to call it, "The Anybody But Hosea Finale," is next week, and the top four is a lot less horrifying than it was last year. Because last year's top four had Lisa in it, and while Leah is not as terrible as Lisa, putting her in the final four would have been this season's equivalent of that. So yay, no more Leah. Anyway, Stefan's pretty much got this year's win in the bag, and with good reason -- besides being great television, the man can cook -- but even so, I'm still futilely holding out for a Carla upset. Here's why.

Those of you hankering for a fashion fix, fear not. Bravo's readying a sexy new reality show tentatively titled The Fashion Show, in which undiscovered sartorial savants compete for a chance to be the next [insert incredibly overpriced fashion geeeeeeenius], brought to you by the folks who birthed such squawk box staples as The Biggest Loser and Beauty and the Geek.

Now it's time to put your money where your mouth is and help cast the final contestant. Think of it as Sophie's Choice, but with dresses!

The fifth season of stress-test competitive cooking show Hell's Kitchen premieres tonight at 9 PM on Fox, and in anticipation, I risked my own dignity to ask scary sweaty meanie-pants chef/star Gordon Ramsay (who, for the record, Paris Hilton, is not the PM of Great Britain) a few questions (along with some other "journalists"). The highlights -- with little to no yelling and a minimum of swear words -- are after the jump.

I don't think there's any way to disagree with the opinion that last night's Nip/Tuck was insane, even for Nip/Tuck. Both cases of the week were nuts, so much unexpected crap happened in the overarching storylines, there was a music video about crotch stank; the list goes on. There was just so much going on in one hour of television, especially when compared to the other shows I watched right before it -- Fringe and American Idol -- where pretty much nothing of importance happened, and rarely does (I'm pulling for you, Fringe, but let's get moving on The Pattern conspiracy already. Thank you). Crazy as it was, I was yet again reminded why and how much I love this show. In celebration of the most batshit Nip/Tuck episode ever, the list, in order of least to most crazy below:

So Bravo decided to experiment with a "To Be Continued" on The Real Housewives of Orange County a couple of weeks ago, leaving us all tied up in knots wondering if that drunk gold digger would hook up with that sober Real Houseson or not until this week. It was all very dramatic. She was wasted and telling him he was very cute and he was basically acting like the date rapist-est date rapist who ever date raped, begging her to make out with him even though she's drunk and engaged, OH NO! So whatever, this stupid show is stupid and who cares if these idiots make out and everything, but cliffhangers are an amazing tactic and Troy was on instead of Nip/Tuck for some reason, so I tuned in last night.

Much has been made of the Sexy Dork phenomenon. Last year really drove home the point, with superlative nerds like Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Cera and a certain big-eared, comic book-collecting president-elect getting lauded left and right and achieving sex symbol status. But no single show on TV has single-handedly championed the dweeb contingent with quite the single-minded and (unintentionally) avant-garde dedication that American Idol has.

I have a confession to make, one that could potentially threaten my standing as an editor at Television Without Pity. Before last night's season premiere, I had never seen an episode of American Idol. I know, I know, how could I be a TV writer and not watch the most popular TV show in America? Well, there are three perfectly good reasons: 1) I hate most modern mainstream music, especially ballads, R&B and country. 2) As a former singer myself, I hate bad singing, and the show seems to showcase a lot of it during the auditions. 3) Until last year, I worked at a magazine about action figures, and watching a show like AI could have threatened my geek status. (If there had been American Idol action figures, though, I would have been all over it. ...Hey, why aren't there American Idol action figures?) But I put aside my prejudices for one night last night, and was pleasantly surprised to see all of my preconceived notions of the show blown out of the water, making me a convert. Possibly for life.