In the consumer culture we inhabit, company spokesmen have long been elevated to the equal status alongside their legitimate cartoon and comic-book brethren. Captain Crunch, Ronald McDonald and the football-playing Fox Sports Robot are among the corporate shills who have been immortalized as action figures, hanging on racks alongside G.I. Joe and Spongebob for nostalgic reasons, kitsch factor or sheer coolness of design alone. And I think that's awesome. But we are about to enter a new age: the age of the TV production company mascot toy.

Apparently, this year being the first year that reality show hosts are eligible for Emmy awards isn't good enough for some people. DHD has reported that, according to a "reliable source," the hosts of this year's Emmy awards ceremony will be not one, not two, not three, not six, but all five of the nominees in the Reality Host category. So if you usually watch the show to escape reality TV (despite the fact that it... is... reality TV), you're S.O.L. But if you love reality TV and want to have a million of its babies live on a major network during primetime, you are in luck.

Apparently, and don't spread this around too much, television can sway people's political opinions. No, it's true! It was true back in the day, when an unshaven Dick Nixon debated a fresh-faced JFK and came off looking like a cartoon hobo, and it's true today. At least, that's what actor Dennis Haysbert would have us believe. He thinks that playing the President of the United States on 24 for two seasons (as well as one season as a candidate and one season as a former prez) showed America how awesome it would be to have a black president, and said as much to the Associated Press. But if that's the case, why didn't Hillary Clinton benefit from any of the numerous female presidents we've seen on TV?

In what universe do we witness both Rachael "Yippy Dog" Ray and Tyra "Love My Fat Ass" Banks lauded with awards and given thank-you speech airtime? Why in the Daytime Emmys universe of course! The soaps and chat show circle jerk took place on Friday, and as always, there were winners and losers. In many cases the winners were, in fact losers, as in the case of the aforementioned Ray. (My view of Ms. Banks is a bit more complicated and not worth getting into here, but I'm thinking that any instance in which Banks gets more ammo for her delusions of omnipotent, Oprah-style grandeur is not necessarily a good thing.) I don't give a dang about the soap opera winners (As the World Turns swept four categories but really, who cares?) but I am happy that Ellen DeGeneres won for Outstanding Daytime Host (one of four Emmy wins this year), because she is the only TV personality besides Joel McHale who has managed not to grate on my last effing nerve. Props to the Emmy judges also for giving Everyday Italian its due, and for finally recognizing the zeitgeist-y behemoth that is The View -- a show that has been nominated ten times over the course of its run and just this year nabbed an actual award. Two, in fact. Say what you will about its choice of topics, the show is a force to be reckoned with. And further proof that Oprah is becoming obsolete: the daytime diva earned a measly two awards. Hubris, dudes. It's a bitch.

In case you're not so over the whole thing already that you're under it -- and Joe R and I have pretty much had it with the Academy by this point -- here's a quick rundown of notable coverage around the internet.

You can start right here on TWoP with the real-time blog of the telecast, featuring me, Joe R, Odie, and Matt Zoller Seitz.  We've also put together a Fametracker-style Galaxy Of Fame that you may care to enjoy.

 

Elsewhere, Joe R presents his alternative nominees; Green Cine Daily analyzes the victories (and offers a buttload of links to other critiques of the telecast, the winners, and What It All Means); A.O. Scott puts the Oscars in context; and you aren't only one wondering what the F was going on with some of those outfits (no more drunk stitch-and-bitches for you, Mrs. Day-Lewis) -- the Fug Girls have got you covered.

Now that we know the ceremony is definitely on...should it be? Host Jon Stewart and his writers will have less than two weeks to assemble some material, which everyone involved seems to think is a very very very tight deadline. On the other hand, maybe if they don't have days and days to futz around with it, it'll mean less time spent second-guessing what are probably good comedic ideas. And let's face it, it's not as though past telecasts that have been written over a period of months have generally been all that uproarious anyway. In fact, maybe the real question will be whether we can tell the difference, quality-wise, between this show and others that have had longer to gestate.