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The Telefile
Parks & Recreation: We Talk to the Real Ron and Tammy Swanson

Tonight marks the epic return of Ron Swanson's ex-wife Tammy on Parks and Recreation, and the episode is just one big whirlwind of crazy sex grunts, corn rows and half-shaved mustaches. I highly recommend it! To promote the event, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally were kind enough to speak to me at 7 AM (their time -- I don't get up before 10) this morning to discuss the episode, the future of Children's Hospital, who will win The Bachelor, their poodles and other burning issues. Read on for the whole shebang.

TWoP: How did the return of Tammy come about?
Nick Offerman: Well, I think one of the biggest hits of last season was the Ron and Tammy episode, and so the writers immediately set about trying to figure out how to bring her back. And they have done so with flying colors.

TWoP: Was there a goal to top how gross the first Ron and Tammy sex scene was?
Megan Mullally: Ohhhh, this makes the first Ron and Tammy look like Bambi.
NO: Yeah, like an episode of Leave It to Beaver.

TWoP: Did you get to improvise any of that at all?
MM: Oh yeah.
NO: Yeah, they left us to our own devices quite a bit.

TWoP: There's a lot missing from Ron and Tammy's lost night. Would you care to fill in the blanks at all?
NO: Gosh, it's probably more edifying to leave it up to your imagination. I don't think that anything I would say, you could print.

TWoP: Was this your first time in corn rows?
NO: It was! And I was told it was going to be quite painful, but I rather enjoyed it. It felt like a stiff head massage. We have an amazing lady in our hair department who does it in about 20 or 30 minutes. She's really good.

TWoP: After Megan and Will Arnett last year, does everybody just want their significant other on the show now?
NO: There is a clamoring, yes. We happen to have a great blessing of incredibly talented spouses in our cast.

TWoP: Are any of them going to happen, you think?
NO: Most likely. I mean, if you have beautiful people like Megan available, they will cash in if they can.

TWoP: Do you have any crazy Ron Swanson superfan encounters? People are very passionate about Ron Swanson.
NO: It hasn't been too crazy. It's been fascinating to --
MM: There are a couple journalist stalkers.

TWoP: Do you have them fired?
MM: No! No, it's just funny.
NO: Not yet.

TWoP: What else are you guys watching?
MM: We watch The Office and 30 Rock. And we're watching Episodes right now. And The Bachelor!

TWoP: Ooh, The Bachelor! Who are you rooting for?
MM: Oh my god, I don't know if I'm really rooting for anybody, but there are some crazy times happening on that show.
NO: Oh, Womack.
MM: I guess if we're rooting for anybody it would be that blonde girl.

TWoP: Emily, yeah. She's popular. I like Chantal for the win.
MM: Yeah! I like Chantal.
NO: I like Chantal because she's a little teary.

TWoP: Is the show pursuing any other Party Down alums to guest on Parks and Rec?
NO: Yeah, we count that cast among the greatest comedy actors working, so those are the people we'd like to have on the show. I'd like to see Martin Starr, for example, working the sanitation department.

TWoP: Will you both be back for Children's Hospital Season 2?
NO: Megan will be back for her leading role as chief, and I've seen some of the work in the new season, and uh, it's quite mindblowing.
MM: And Nick is back for two episodes.

TWoP: Do you prefer the loose format of Children's Hospital, where you can just go crazy and be silly more, or do you like to work in a more structured format like Parks and Rec?
MM: I like both. Parks and Rec is very, very nice set, very laid back. No egos, no drama. Same thing for Children's Hospital, except the comedy is so much more underground, kind of, and I've really learned a lot as a comedic actress doing shows like Children's Hospital and Party Down, where there's a lot more improvisation involved. There's also improvisation involved on Parks and Rec, but I feel like I've learned quite a lot from being involved in all three of those shows.

TWoP: Nick, I asked everyone I know who watches the show what they wanted me to ask you, and they all wanted me to ask you if you actually have to eat a lot of meat when you're filming.
NO: Oh, I don't have to eat a lot of meat when I'm filming, I am privileged to have the opportunity.
MM: [Laughs] Yeah, it's a choice.
NO: There's an episode where I had to eat an enormous steak, and I didn't eat dinner the night before, I stored up a lot of empty space and things went so well, they got it in two takes. And I was like, 'This is ridiculous. I need at least three more takes with this delicious steak.'

TWoP: And lastly, how are your poodles? [Editor's Note: They have poodles.]
MM: Oh, they're great! They're just cuter than ever.
NO: They're excited about Valentine's Day.

TWoP: Oh good! And anything else you can tease about the episode?
MM: It's like an action movie, I wouldn't even know how to describe it. Every stop has been pulled out.
NO: Best viewed sitting down?
MM: Yeah. Not for the faint of heart, perhaps?
NO: If you're into this sort of thing, it's great on Mescaline. I've been told.

Parks and Recreation airs on NBC tonight at 9:30 PM. Watch it! It is very funny!

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