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Recently in I Hate Procedurals Category
If Rizzoli & Isles and Franklin & Bash are feeding your appetite for more basic cable crime solving pairs, TNT has another duo for you: Dr. Daniel Pierce and FBI Agent Kate Moretti. They're the characters at the center of the network's latest procedural, Perception, which premiered last night following the debut of The Closer's final batch of episodes. (You mean that show isn't over yet? Its departure has been dragged out almost as long as one of Cher's "Farewell" concert tours. Oh, and Spoilers Ahead if you missed last night's Perception premiere.)
CBS' latest police procedural, NYC 22, which is centered around a freshman class of rookie cops at the titular New York precinct, sports plenty of prestigious names above the title. For starters, the show was created by novelist and screenwriter, Richard Price (author of one of the best crime novels -- and Spike Lee movies -- ever, Clockers) and produced by New York lifers Robert De Niro and Jane Rosenthal. The ensemble cast, meanwhile, includes such recognizable faces as Adam Goldberg, Leelee Sobieski, Felix Solis and, best of all, Oz's Terry Kinney. So what do you get when you package all that talent together? As it turns out, a fairly ordinary New York-set cop show. But in this case, ordinary is totally okay, because what NYC 22 lacks in groundbreaking storylines and characterizations, it makes up for in basic meat-and-potatoes storytelling gravitas. That may not sound like much, but compared to the sheer laziness on display in certain other CBS procedurals (we're looking you Unmemorable... uh, we mean Unforgettable), it's enough to make NYC 22 worth checking out if you're at all a fan of the genre.
If there's one thing Unforgettable successfully taught us in its pilot episode, it's that having hyperthymesia -- the condition its protagonist Carrie Wells (Poppy Montgomery) has which gives her a photographic memory -- is not all fun and games. Sure, you can count cards, but you'll quickly get caught and have to turn all of the corrupt casino goons against each other. You can solve crimes, but that includes the one where your kid sister was violently murdered. You can impress a few old folks at the retirement home, but that comes with the unfortunate burden of remembering every single second to all of the Everybody Loves Raymond episodes you've seen. There are drawbacks.
Last night, Law and Order: SVU returned with back-to-back new episodes, including one with guest star Taryn Manning (Sons of Anarchy), though you might unfortunately know her as the (other) white-trash friend from Crossroads. Unlike her role in Crossroads, you do find yourself feeling bad for her character, who was abducted at a young age from her foster family and forced to star in pornographic-type videos by her pedophile kidnapper. And if that image isn't enough to disturb you, then try to process the opening scene, when a half-naked fat guy wearing one of those clear masks with creepy face paint on it (think V for Vendetta) comes running out to attack the boyfriend of Manning's character in his tighty-whities.
It's been a rough year for Dick Wolf. Sure, Law & Order: SVU continues to get Emmy nominations, but the original Law & Order was just cancelled after a paltry 20 seasons, and the last season of Criminal Intent did poorly enough that the next season has been announced as its last. So there's a lot riding on Law & Order: Los Angeles, both in terms of the L&O legacy and the fact that it's the first L.A.-based cop show to air on NBC after their cancellation of Southland. And while the comparisons are pointless -- LOLA very much follows the franchise's formula, while Southland was more an exploration than a procedural -- there's something to be said for the locale. Los Angeles is a different universe from New York, and even though the setup is familiar, the noirish imagery and execution makes the show feel like an entirely different beast.
After only two episodes, Fox has cancelled Lone Star, making it the official first casualty of the fall 2010 season. It's a sad, but unsurprising move on Fox's part, considering the obvious fact that Lone Star -- a slow, more-intelligent-than-Glee (not that there's anything wrong with Glee) adult drama -- belonged anywhere but on network television. But let's buck up and move on to the important question: who should be next? What else is just so terrible, or so poorly scheduled, or just plain misplaced that it should be put out of its misery next? In ascending order, here are the new shows that most need to be cancelled, and the alternate networks where they could have lived long, happy, minimum-ratings-pressure lives.
It's pretty easy to compare the new TNT show Rizzoli & Isles to Cagney & Lacey -- after all, both are about a pair of female law-enforcement officers who are friends outside of work. But this pair aren't both tough street detectives -- okay, one is, but the other is a cultured medical examiner, which makes it more like Bones than anything, with Angie Harmon in the David Boreanaz role, and Sasha Alexander in the Emily Deschanel one. Only Alexander's Isles is more boring and normal than Deschanel's awkward Bones, and Harmon's Rizzoli might actually be more macho than Boreanaz's Seeley Booth. Too bad it's not a romance.
CBS' spin attempt to make a House-like series debuted last night, but while there were patients of the week introduced via bizarre scenarios, the doctor in charge isn't nearly as cranky or believable. Really, am I supposed to believe that there is a cardio transplant specialist who is going to sit and hold his patient's hand and wants everyone to call him Andy? In my experience surgeons are far too busy and self-important to allow for either of those scenarios. This isn't Everwood. This is a seemingly large hospital, given that they have an entire transplant team and a jet at the ready.
The ridiculously popular NCIS has officially spun off into SoCal, with, really, a brilliantly guilty pleasure-tastic cast. LL Cool J and Chris O'Donnell are buddy cops who investigate crimes committed against military personnel, and the principal from Kindergarten Cop is their boss. Fair enough. I like all those people, and generally think they're fun to watch running around doing important things, but I feel the same way about Mark Harmon. Doesn't mean I watch NCIS every week.
"Can you spot the cop? They're betting their lives you can't." That's the tagline for this new series from TNT, about undercover police officers who go way undercover, even if it means going too deep. Speaking of too deep, this show is, for me. I like my cop shows with a little bit of humor, and no feeling of drowning, thank you very much. And apparently going undercover is like drowning, because all of the people on the team are miserable.
MOST RECENT POSTS
Perception: We Perceive a Snoozer
NYC 22: Just Another Ordinary Cop Show... And That's Okay
Unforgettable: Memory Loves Company
Law & Order: SVU: Now With, Amazingly, Even More Pedophilia
Is Law & Order: Los Angeles What the Franchise Needed?
Fall TV Death Watch: Which Shows Should Be Cancelled Next?
Rizzoli & Isles: A Modern Cagney & Lacey? Or an All-Girl Bones?
Three Rivers: Yet Another Mediocre Medical Drama
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