Upon hearing the news that Kurt Russell, my favorite movie star in the whole damn universe, is a leading contender to take over William Peterson's role on CSI, I had mixed emotions. First I was like, "The Kurt! On the TV! Yes!" But then I remembered that I don't watch CSI, I've never even seen CSI, and the only things I know about CSI are that they talk about pubic hair on it a lot (Reno 911 told me!) and that it's my 90-year-old grandmother's favorite show. We don't watch the same shows because she's 66 years older than I am, so naturally we have different tastes in what she likes to call "progr'ms."

Amy Poehler has been added to the cast of the Office spinoff that apparently is in no way an Office spinoff, so please for the love of god stop calling it an Office spinoff. The funny lady (who I guess is leaving SNL now? As much as it pains me, it's time for her to move on) will join comedian Aziz Ansari in Office writers/producers Greg Daniels and Mike Schur's new NBC sitcom, set to premiere next winter in a sexy Thursday night post-Office timeslot.

I've got to thank my dear pal Michael Ausiello over at EW for this one -- he's discovered that one Miss Joey Potter will be resurfacing on the small screen in an episode of Eli Stone. Damn. I guess this means I've got to start watching this show. I tried, because of the Jack Bristow factor, but got bored after one episode. Normally I object to this kind of stuntcasting, but I'm totally selfish and that only goes for shows that I actually watch/am obsessed with. This one I don't care about, and I love me some Katie Holmes, before and after the craziness that surrounds her, Tom and Suri. She'll always be my little sweet Joey Potter. Nothing, not even Scientology, can take that away from her.

Huzzah! In a brilliant move second only to the brilliant move that resulted in picking up It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia originally, the brass at FX have signed on to produce another outré comedy as a companion to IASIP. Testees (tee hee), written by Kenny Vs. Spenny creator (and former South Park scribe) Kenny Hotz, will focus on two best friends and roommates who are employed as guinea pigs (ie "testees" -- tee hee!) charged with testing all manner of product and medication that has yet to hit the market. As you might imagine, hilarity usually ensues.

The good news: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is getting a new video game for the Nintendo DS. The bad news: right now it's only going to be available in Europe. The weird news: A TV show that went off the air over five years ago is getting a video game release on a major handheld system, and not even in its country of origin. Can they do that?

ABC's love affair with writer/producer/perpetual hit series creator/dude who doesn't seem to require sleep Greg Berlanti marches on with today's news that he has signed on for five more years and likely a boatload more cash (The Hollywood Reporter even calls it a "megadeal" - oooh! Megadeal!) with the network. Berlanti's already quite the busy bee over at ABC, as he has his hand in Brothers & Sisters, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money all simultaneously, which frankly makes me think of that "How many jobs you got?!" In Living Color sketch, which in turn makes me feel uncomfortable. But I digress...

Wow. That's all I can say. Wow. ...Okay, I guess I should say more, since I'm the one who begged to write a gushing love note to the Season 2 premiere of Burn Notice, the USA Network's sizzling spy series. I should point out that it was actually my very first episode, having not seen any Season 1 episodes, I'd only read M. Giant's handy cheat sheet, so it was like getting thrown into the middle of a firefight with only the barest idea of what to expect. Hey, kinda like how ex-spy Michael Westen started off the episode! Here're my five favorite things about the premiere.

Few things cause me to weep openly more consistently than Quantum Leap episodes, so I think it's safe to say I'd follow Scott Bakula anywhere... even if where he's going involves Ray Romano. That's right. My Scott Bakula (who I affectionately nicknamed "Dracula" when I was 10. I wasn't very clever back then) passion runs that deep! The former time-traveling physicist has signed on for Men of a Certain Age, a TNT drama pilot co-starring Ray Romano and Andre Braugher, who's one of those actors whose name I know but whose work I've never actually seen. Anyway, I'm sure he's very talented.

Well, not exactly. But I was present for a round table of sorts with Battlestar Galactica's most famous cylon about her new gig on USA's Burn Notice. For starters, Helfer confirmed she will be in a whopping seven (possibly eight) out of 16 episodes this season, so tonight's season premiere is no mere guest appearance. And aside from knowing she's generally scary and bossy, she doesn't know a whole lot about her new character yet. "To be completely honest, I really don't know much of Carla's back story. I do know that she was a spy, and that she is now the public face of the organization that burns Michael. So she is definitely in a leadership position, and, at this point, pretty much ordering Michael around." Poor Michael. That guy just can't catch a break.

So it's official -- Chris "Mr. Big" Noth is leaving Law & Order: Criminal Intent, and will be replaced by Jeff "The Fly" Goldblum. I know, your head is exploding, right? It's the end of an era! The dude was on the original Law & Order from 1990-1995, then came back to CI ten years later! He's a, whaddayacallit, an edifice! Of course, Goldblum is no slouch. Not only was he a Jewish cowboy in Buckaroo Banzai and a cocaine dealer in Deep Cover, but he was actually a cop for seven episodes of 2007's short-lived Raines.