BLOGS

The Telefile
After spending a good portion of my Sunday pouring over (read: being jealous of their sparkly outfits and Country Music Awards hair) VH1's kiddie pageant special Little Beauties: Ultimate Kiddie Queen Showdown yesterday, I was overjoyed to discover that the WE network has ordered up six one-hour episodes of a similar show called Little Miss Perfect, which isn't as creepy a title as Little Beauties, but does ring bitchier, so I'm on board.

There is some bad news, though. The producers are claiming the series will be neutral about the whole these-parents-are-evil-and-abusive-nutbars angle, which is disappointing, but I'm sure the footage will speak for itself. Remember on Showbiz Moms & Dads when the little girl was crying from debilitating exhaustion and her mom was all, "You're four years old! Act like it!" and shoved a pixy stick and a Red Bull at her to shut her the eff up? Oh, I laaaaaaughed. And almost called the cops. But mostly laughed. And what with VH1's Little Beauty Jordan, who was so borderline special needs that she lost every single pageant and didn't even have the mental capacity to figure it out (seriously, over and over again she saw a huge crown put on another girl's head and she'd run off the stage squealing "I won!" despite having no evidence of a victory. This was truly amazing.), the grand tradition of child abuse as entertainment just gets better and better. WE's got quite an act to follow.

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