Matthew Weiner has been extremely hush-hush about the upcoming Season 5 of Mad Men, to say the least. While we haven't even seen a teaser trailer with any new content, we feel confident that we know a few things that won't happen on the critically acclaimed drama. Here are all of the things we can be certain we won't see from the extended Sterling-Cooper-Draper-Pryce gang this year.
Don makes a thoughtful decision regarding his love life that satisfies fans.
A person of color gets promoted to a full-time role.
One single criticism of the '60s is not completely on-the-nose.
Roger is written as a three-dimensional, complex adult with human emotions.
Megan is crafted into a well-rounded character with many intricacies instead of being an obvious plot device for Don's self-destructiveness.
The "Next Time on Mad Men" promos actually give viewers some sense of what's going to happen next time on Mad Men.
Betty shows off a softer side, and people stop associating January Jones entirely with her deplorable character.
Matthew Weiner graciously thanks his fans, writing staff and AMC for their dedication, and apologizes for the immaturity he's demonstrated throughout the years.
Joanie finally just whips 'em out, and the Internet responds in a dignified manner.
Work gets done without the door being closed.
We learn that someone found Chauncey wandering the streets near Sterling Cooper years ago and gave him a loving home.
Trudy is given extended screen time, and joins a study group at a local community college with several wacky characters from different walks of life. Their antics are a little bit underwhelming at first, but over the course of a few semesters, the gang quickly finds its voice in an immersion of pop-culture obsession and becomes one of the most compelling ensembles on television.
One single woman says no to Don about anything.
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