Yesterday, they finally announced who would be hosting the Academy Awards ceremony next year, after it was revealed that Hugh Jackman would not return following last year's show-stopping performance. And the lucky host is... Alec Baldwin. And Steve Martin. Both of them. Because... it's... uh... huh? True, Baldwin just won his second Emmy in a row, and Martin has hosted the Oscars twice before, but this really makes zero sense to us, for the following reasons.

Look, I realize that I am not the target demographic for It's On With Alexa Chung, the MTV talk show. However, I got hooked on its quirkiness over the summer. It had a certain charm about it, I found Alexa's casual air and cool style appealing and I loved learning about all the bands that the kids are listening to these days. So I was decidedly excited about its return today after about a month off, but now I couldn't be more disappointed.

Holy hell, I take one lousy sick day and I come back to find that while I was out Jon Gosselin tried to stay married to Kate because TLC shitcanned him? Yikes. Put me back in bed, doctor! I can't take these people. In case you missed it, the Gosselin existence has spiraled further into shambles. Come November 2, Jon & Kate Plus 8 will change its name to Kate Plus 8, and will focus on Kate's single-momness and celebrity, with Jon appearing as a mere guest star in between weird, gross Michael Lohan pool parties and Ed Hardy wine tastings.

So Jordan won. Which was really no surprise to anyone, except maybe Jordan herself. But then again, everything surprised Jordan. You probably could have told her that Julie was a robot and she would have believed it. She won the show purely by dumb luck, which sounds mean, but is true. She claimed that her best strategic move in the game was winning the final HoH, but she won both stages of the competition by chance. She rolled the balls into the right holes better than Natalie, but everyone is a better competitor than Natalie, and then she basically wrote a random number on a chalkboard and won her spot in the final two. I can't even pretend to think that she actually calculated how many votes to evict were cast during the course of the season. She is not a math genius, or any kind of genius.

If you were expecting Jay Leno to shake up the talk-show format and really change the television landscape with his 10 PM chatfest, you were likely sorely disappointed last evening. That said, if you are a Leno fan and wanted more of what he was doing on The Tonight Show, except earlier, then your wish has been granted. His new primetime talk show debuted yesterday, and for all the chatter about him having fewer guests and really switching things up, it was almost identical to his previous format. The only big changes were the lack of a desk (instead he's got two small and uncomfortable looking chairs on a carpet in the middle of the studio) and that he saved "Headlines" for the end. Way to mix it up, Jay.

Many, many actresses get their start in the modeling world. Some have a talent for acting early on and only use modeling as a stepping stone, but others are simply born to look pretty, and seem to only move on to acting because they'll make more money, and because they can do it past the age of 23. In the new series The Beautiful Life, The CW looks at the seamy side of modeling, and as a nod to one of the greats, has cast former supermodel Elle "The Body" Macpherson as the head of a modeling agency. Unfortunately, while it's great to see her again, we're not sure that that was the best casting decision. We looked at the massive list of actresses who used to be models and picked the five best working actresses today and the five worst. They're all gorgeous, of course, and we respect them for excelling in one career, let alone two, but the truth is, some need to stick to simply being beautiful.

While we've been hearing for months about all of the very special guest judges who are taking on the audition rounds (from Neil Patrick Harris to Katy Perry and everyone in between), the looming question has been if anyone would take over the fourth seat vacated by Paula Abdul on a permanent basis. Well, we now have an answer: Yes, Ellen DeGeneres. Hiring the popular daytime talk show host and comedian instead of any of the music industy vets we had hoped for could be a stroke of genius -- or it could spell disaster for TV's top-rated program. We've weighed the pros and cons of Idol's newest judge.

Allow me to tell you a little bit about myself. With the exception of attending college in the Midwest, I've lived my entire life in the Northeast. I wear SPF 70. The only people I know who have gotten plastic surgery did so to make their breasts smaller. So to me, the excessively superficial world depicted in Addicted to Beauty is like a magical foreign realm. So naturally, I became completely fascinated by the cast after oh, seven minutes of the first episode, and soon enough I was addicted to Addicted to Beauty.

Okay, everyone laughs at Heidi and Spencer Pratt's staged photo ops and I'm a Celebrity... shenanigans, and Heidi's so-called music career, and Spencer's so-called "beard," because we all know that they're just trying to get people to take pictures of them, and to get America to continue to pay attention to them. But now it's just sad. Spencer claims he is in the process of changing his name -- legally, mind you -- to "King Spencer Pratt," because, in his words, "I have decided that if there is a Queen of England and Prince William, we need to have a King of America, and I have nominated myself for that title." Seriously, is he mentally ill? [Dear Rest of the World: Please ignore him.]

So last week Dancing With the Stars revealed their season 9 cast, and now they've released the info about which celeb gets partnered with which pro. Is it bad that I feel sorry for some of these dancers? And I don't just mean Cheryl Burke getting stuck with Tom DeLay, who likely won't take her to the finals like Gilles did last season. While I'm sure that producers spend minutes hours figuring out who to pair up with whom, it does seem like certain dancers get the short shrift more often than not.