I am legitimately bummed that this is the final season of Teen Mom with Amber, Farrah, Maci and Catelynn. Much as I have come around to enjoy the ladies of Teen Mom 2, last night's two-hour premiere was a cold hard reminder that we've only got so much time left with our O.G.s. Here are the premiere's highlights:

The series premiere of Oxygen's new reality show The Next Big Thing focused on performance coach Trapper Felides, the students he helps and the assistants who help him. It's not surprising that this show exists, considering the success of the conceptually similar Dance Moms and Toddlers & Tiaras, but as much as I would love to watch Trapper's kids in a talent show, their staged, over-exaggerated drama is just not entertaining enough to fill an hour. The kids' talent is definitely real, but many other aspects of the show, well... not so much. Here are some of the moments from the series premiere that made me roll my eyes at how hard The Next Big Thing is trying to be the next big thing:

In Fox's newest dating series Take Me Out, 30 women judge one guy at a time and decide if they want to date him. George Lopez hosts (because when you think romance, you think George Lopez) and the best way to describe the show is loud -- in more ways than one. Don't believe me? Here are the reasons why this is the loudest dating show on TV:

If you're part of the small population of people that thought Survivor needed more romance and that The Bachelor needed more snake pits, then Love in the Wild is the show for you. Though Season 2 of the reality dating/adventure show has attempted to bump up the dramatics from the previous season, kicking out Darren McMullen in favor of Jenny McCarthy, the show hasn't lost its pretty-but-totally-desperate contestants. We can't wait to see the ridiculous and semi-dangerous scenarios they will be forced into this upcoming season, all in the name of TV love. Take a look at some of the words of wisdom from the contestants on Week 1 of the new season.

First of all, we're thrilled that our dark horse Sharon Needles took the crown last night on RuPaul's Drag Race's reunion special. Though her victory means that darling Chad Michaels didn't win, it also means that Phi Phi O'Hara was a loser -- and we'll take that, for sure. Drag Race and Untucked have done an excellent job this season of creating the three finalists as the past, present and future of drag. We were also happy to see Latrice Royale take her much-deserved Miss Congeniality award, as we converted of the Church of Jesus Is a Biscuit after her amazing pregnancy Lip Sync for Your Life to "Natural Woman." With the exception of last night's finale, this was one of the best seasons of reality TV we've seen all year... but the travesties of last night cannot be ignored. Here are our biggest complaints:

Truth be told, I did not specifically remember little Eden Wood out of all the other pageant children on Toddlers & Tiaras. I also don't entirely understand why Logo, of all networks, decided to give this seven-year-old her own reality show, but I assume it has something to do with connections from her "King of Reality" manager, Andrew Sullivan. Whatever the case, the pilot was fun and mindless enough except for one obviously glaring problem: Not enough Eden!

Sometimes when Saturday Night Live books a real actor, the sketches are more complex, funnier and all-around better. Other times, it's a lot more like this week's "Josh Brolin/Gotye," where guest hosts are reduced to bit roles, the sketches are far too long and the episode is nearly void of laughs. Aside from a fun(ish) cold open about the Republican Primaries, a pretty clever critique of Game of Thrones' obsession with sexposition (also not online) and a topical Piers Morgan bit, this episode was a major disaster. Let's take a look at the worst of the worst:

I've long held the theory that reality shows cannot thrive in Miami -- look at the Real Housewives of Miami, Miami Social, 8th & Ocean (though the seasons of Top Chef and Bad Girls Club that were in South Beach were pretty awesome, though those shows travel every season and aren't dependent on the surroundings the way that the former series were, but I digress) -- so my hopes for the South Florida spin-off Lifetime's already surprisingly wonderful Pittsburgh-based Dance Moms were exceedingly low. And the show somehow still managed to disappoint me beyond that. Here's why it doesn't work:

Had The Pauly D Project premiered several years ago and not after five arduous seasons of Jersey Shore, I would've been way more excited about the prospect of a Pauly D spin-off -- sure, at the time, his career as a DJ sounded like a total joke, but thanks to his pretty excellent personality, Pauly has long been one of my favorite members of the cast. Unfortunately, I've grown extremely tired of the Shore crew and the fame machine the show has become. Where "Oh yeah!" and "Cabs are here!" used to be fun catchphrases, seeing them emblazoned on every ad on MTV is more tiresome than endearing at this point. And the fact that Pauly is in his 30s now makes his act much less cute.

While All-American Muslim was by no means a perfect show (we're still pissed at Shadia for the Wrigley incident), we were disappointed to learn that TLC cancelled it last week. Normalizing (and I use that word in the context of the social climate) Muslim-Americans to mainstream audiences -- even if some of the people on that show were annoying -- is a worthy cause, and All-American Muslim did do a bit of service to the community simply in terms of representing this diverse culture on television. If there was any hope that Shahs of Sunset would do anything to continue to teach viewers that Iranian-Americans were no different than "you and me," this program may have chosen the wrong handful of people to showcase.