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The Telefile

View To a Hasselbeck Kill

by admin September 19, 2008 1:39 pm
Elisabeth Hasselbarf is rumored to be leaving lady chatfest The View and it's not even my birthday! Word is the token right-winger will depart for greener pastures, and by greener pastures I mean token right wing news outlet Fox News. Is this Fox's attempt to compete with MSNBC's lightening rod lezzie leftie Rachel Maddow? Because I think we all know who would win that cage fight -- assuming Hasselboobs hasn't had her acrylics redone in the last 48 hours.

This is all well and good, because I make a point never to let my remote idle on Fox for any unnecessary length of time -- my visits to the network are perfunctory and business-like, sort of like lions mating. The real question is, who will View producers wrangle to fill the "dumb conservative a-hole" role once Hasselho has vacated the hallowed premises? If they're taking write-in suggestions, might I suggest Brooke Hogan, whose knowledge of politics and current affairs is about on par with Elisabeth's? In fact, unless she sports her signature grillz, I'm not sure I could even tell the difference betwixt the two.

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