1. Gretchen, sporting a completely straight face, insists they all dress classy.
I should really have learned by now, but the astounding lack of self-awareness these women suffer from still blows me away every time. As the OC cast sees it, maybe thousands of viewers wrote in to say that when one is over forty (and yes, I know Gretchen is only 30), maybe you don't run around in a shirt that is basically a scarf with a fake jewel clasp under your pronounced cleavage and call it an appropriate look, but whatever, they're wrong. They're all classy. Even Tamra. You know, say what you want about NeNe and the other Atlanta women -- at least NeNe knows her rack is flapping in the wind.
2. Lynne breaks down.
All the other girls (with the exception of Gretchen, I think, who actually seems like a nice person) have made it very clear that they think Lynne is stupid and that they are not like her because they are very smart. So, again with the lack of self-awareness. Be that as it may, my god, women -- you're on television! Hold back a little! After addressing a clip package in which Vicki and Tamra rip on Lynne's intellect repeatedly during the season, Lynne was like, "Yeah, that really, really hurt my feelings. But they're stupid too! Anyway, let's move on!" Fair enough. But later, during a completely unrelated segment Jeana referred to having a "Lynne moment" during a time she did some dumb ass thing or another (as she frequently does), and Lynne broke down like the only third grader not invited to the cool kid's equestrian racing party table. And Jeana's supposed to be the nice one.
Also, this is neither here nor there, but I cannot express to you how much I would never allow any of these women to reduce me to tears. Ever.
3. Lauri shows up, and is quickly put in her place by Andy Cohen.
Lauri: "Josh is doing well."
Andy Cohen: "Are you retarded? I thought he was in jail!" (Paraphrasing.)
4. The horrifying lack of Vicki ridiculousness.
Since when does Vicki let Tamra do all the talking? She stayed out of almost everything and let Tamra dominate the entire show, only chiming in a few times, usually to join in with Tamra on something defensive. I mean, she only criticized Lynne's parenting like once. What show is this?!
5. So now Gretchen's a con artist, Tamra? Really? Really?!
I don't mean to imply she's not a gold digger -- of course she is. But I don't really consider gold digging a con in most cases, including this one, because both parties usually know what's going on. I'm referring to how Tamra was like, "this guy was calling me, and saying how he'd out you to the world, and you guys are in a secret relationship, and Jeff didn't know, and then you guys took Jeff for a ride, and basically you're Sawyer from Lost, but far more threatening to me because you're a younger, richer, more beautiful woman and all I have is my wealth and looks, so when you're around I have nothing, so I have to make up totally insane things to compensate, etc." (Again, paraphrasing.)
It was nuts. Gretchen's just your average gold digger, Tamra. If she was cheating on Jeff, it was just an amateur move on her part, not a two-man con job. What would the other guy's purpose even serve in the con? It just doesn't make sense, and it makes Tamra look so jealous and pathetic. Worse than usual, I mean.
Your favorite moments from the night? Spill below.
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