BLOGS

The Telefile
Spencer Pratt Declares Himself King of America; We Have Other Names For Him

Okay, everyone laughs at Heidi and Spencer Pratt's staged photo ops and I'm a Celebrity... shenanigans, and Heidi's so-called music career, and Spencer's so-called "beard," because we all know that they're just trying to get people to take pictures of them, and to get America to continue to pay attention to them. But now it's just sad. Spencer claims he is in the process of changing his name -- legally, mind you -- to "King Spencer Pratt," because, in his words, "I have decided that if there is a Queen of England and Prince William, we need to have a King of America, and I have nominated myself for that title." Seriously, is he mentally ill? [Dear Rest of the World: Please ignore him.]

In further "news," he has apparently rejected an earlier nickname he gave himself, "the white Jay-Z," because he "did [his] research" and discovered he is "nothing like" Jay-Z. That must have been some exhaustive research, and not just Googling Jay-Z and realizing that Jay-Z has actually accomplished things, while Pratt has accomplished jack squat. Since he's lost his nickname, and we refuse to recognize his sovereignty, we've come up with some other nicknames he may want to try out. Because we're going to use them anyway.

S-Hole
Spencer for Hire
Fleshbeard
The Labelmaker
The White Eminem
The Craptacular Speidi-Man
Prattfail
Doctor Famewhore
Papa Ratzi
Look Sky-Gawker
Mrs. Montag

Nominate your further suggestions below.

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

MOST RECENT POSTS

BLOG ARCHIVES

The Telefile

March 2014

25 ENTRIES

February 2014

24 ENTRIES

January 2014

43 ENTRIES

December 2013

15 ENTRIES

November 2013

28 ENTRIES

October 2013

40 ENTRIES

September 2013

37 ENTRIES

August 2013

16 ENTRIES

July 2013

15 ENTRIES

June 2013

26 ENTRIES

May 2013

38 ENTRIES

April 2013

43 ENTRIES

March 2013

35 ENTRIES

February 2013

58 ENTRIES

January 2013

62 ENTRIES

December 2012

48 ENTRIES

November 2012

60 ENTRIES

October 2012

71 ENTRIES

September 2012

67 ENTRIES

August 2012

66 ENTRIES

July 2012

51 ENTRIES

June 2012

60 ENTRIES

May 2012

70 ENTRIES

April 2012

73 ENTRIES

March 2012

72 ENTRIES

February 2012

64 ENTRIES

January 2012

80 ENTRIES

The Latest Activity On TwOP